Global Institute of Organizational Coaching

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Coach as Critical Thinking Partner

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The field of coaching continues to evolve as research informs practice and client needs take center stage.  One recent evolution is called “third generation” coaching.  Third generation coaching suggests a shift to embracing “thinking partnerships” with clients rather than being experts and advisors.  It is also slowing down from a solution focus and taking time to explore who the client is, based on values as well as understanding the meaning clients make from those values.  Instead of simply focusing on a goal, clients are also focusing on passion and purpose which requires coaches to use a different yet complementary set of skills when coaching.  Understanding and integrating the impact of neuroscience on the coaching process becomes essential for successful achievement of behavior change.  Finally, coaching is evolving as it seeks to prolong and invite emergent conversations for the purpose of interweaving processes, models, and techniques.  Global IOC’s Associate, Advanced and Master level programs integrate into the proprietary curriculum these ideas and more from four top coaching thought leaders.

Third Generation Coaching

Dr. Reinhard Stelter has been developing his ideas about “lingering in dialogue” and third generation coaching for the past 10 years.  When engaging in third generation coaching, we are moving beyond a solution focused problem-solving approach to an appreciative dialog approach with clients that includes transformative, fruitful, and genuine dialog.  Things become meaningful when we understand how we feel, think, and act and then align our behaviors with our feelings, thoughts, and actions shares Dr. Stelter in “The Art of Dialogue in Coaching: Towards Transformative Exchange”.  The meaning making process begins with an examination of our values which are central to our identity.  Through the process of values-reflection, clients can step away from what’s immediately in front of them to create moments of understanding and deepening self-awareness.  It is through this reflection that previous experiences, knowledge and beliefs can be matched with expectations for our future.  Using a collaborative process, Stelter believes that the coach and client work in tandem to surface both values and the meaning made from those values to examine perceptions and realities and then create the plan for action towards goals. 

Positive Relationships Matter

Although, Dr. Richard Boyatzis has been writing most recently about coaching and compassion he has a lifetime of work that is foundational to coaching.  Two specific concepts integrated into the Global IOC curriculum are Positive Emotional Attractors (PEA) and Negative Emotional Attractors (NEA). Essentially, our bodies (brains) respond differently to the spoken words of PEA and NEA with PEA eliciting optimism, possibilities, future orientation, and open-mindedness to change.  Conversely, NEA elicits the opposite effect with clients feeling pessimistic, pressured about outcomes and fear.  When the coaching process integrates PEAs into the conversation, the client begins to think differently about his/her own direction and uncover potential solutions that are a best fit for the client.  Dr. Boyatzis also has a change process, Intended Change Theory (ICT), which incorporates the concepts of PEA and NEA into coaching and is foundational to the Global IOC curriculum.  ICT guides the client in determining ideal states, real states, strengths, gaps, and development of learning agendas that lead back to the ideal state.  You can read more about the theory in a recent book “Helping People Change” which Boyatzis co-authored with Melvin Smith and Ellen Van Oosten.

Eclectic Coaching

A third thought leader, Dr. David Clutterbuck shares that as we become “liberated coaches” we are able to implement a coaching process he calls “managed eclectic”.   At this level, the coach weaves models, processes, and philosophies into conversations, allowing coaches again to become “thinking partners” with clients.   In eclectic coaching, the initial conversation with a client is a learning conversation to determine the best fit for approaches, techniques, and tools and resources.  Eclectic coaching is truly a customization of coaching which is determined by client needs at a particular moment in time.  Global IOC has designed all the learning modules to include the concept of “integrated eclectic” which means that throughout the training modules techniques, models and processes are introduced for integration during coaching discussions.  In using this approach for coach development, the coach becomes proficient in choosing when to introduce models, processes, and techniques into the coaching conversation.  Global IOC also encourages developing coaches to construct their own coaching philosophy which adapts, expands, and evolves as they grow in coaching knowledge and expertise.

The Future of Coaching

Finally, Hetty Einzig, MA, PCC., has written extensively on the future of coaching and the changing dynamics of the coach and client.    In her book, “The Future of Coaching”, she outlines what she believes about the evolution of coaching particularly in a VUCA world.  She believes that learning will be both horizontal and vertical, will include both the individual and system, will incorporate holistic measurements such as body, mind, emotions, and spirit and will focus more on purpose and less on goal-orientation.  This last statement is completely aligned with Dr. Stelter’s thinking about surfacing values and meaning making as the starting process for coaching.  As coaching evolves to be more inclusive of the system that clients function within and integrates the mind, body, emotions, and spirit into coaching conversations, coach development programs must respond by building curriculum that can elevate the practices of all coaches.

The central theme from all thought leaders is that the landscape of coaching is changing which requires rethinking how we develop coaches.  It is essential that coach development programs evolve with the latest thinking in the field of coaching.  If it is time to update or upgrade your skills as a thinking partner to clients and would like more information about coach development programs, please call 800-973-5702 or email contact@globalioc.com.  To apply for admission to the Associate, Advanced or Master development programs, click on this link: https://globalioc.com/apply-for-admission-into-a-coaching-program/.

What Would My Life Look Like Without Excuses?

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The person who really wants to do something finds a way;

the other person finds an excuse.

-Author Unknown

 

What holds us back from taking the actions we need to with regards to our behaviors as well as our thoughts. The question comes from Wayne Dyer’s book on “Excuses Be Gone”.  Just asking the question of  “what would my life look like if I couldn’t use this excuse?” is a powerful step to taking responsibility for moving our lives into the direction of positive change. Dyer lists several excuses in his book, but I want to focus on the ones I hear most from my clients.

I am too busy

Let’s start with one of the most common excuses-I am too busy-which translates into I don’t have enough time, or it will take a long time. How many times have you heard “time is all you have”? If we are passionate about wanting to change or needing to change, time is all you have! A quick reminder that we all have the same twenty-four hours in a day leads us to two issues that many people struggle with-time management and saying no or a combination of both. To move beyond the time question, you might explore David Allen’s work on time management in “Getting Things Done”.  Many of my clients have used his ideas when the major issue is being able prioritize. Saying no can be a little more dicey because we often find ourselves in an emotional bind. I could write an entire blog on saying no but suffice it to say that most people predict dire consequences to saying no when sometimes a conversation with the other person will produce the desired results. An exercise I often do with clients is to ask them if the “no” is never or just not now. Asking the requester if the action is something that could happen in the future just not now will often open up the emotional space so that both parties feel that needs are being met.

It’s too big

Follow that excuse with-It’s too big. It is easy to become overwhelmed by what we are facing. Jack Canfield in “The Success Principles” suggest that we need to chunk things down. He offers several suggestions from speaking with someone who has already “chunked something down” to starting at the end and looking backward. For example, if you want to go back to school, it may take two years to complete a degree. Finding the requirements for courses and then dividing them by the number of weeks available will provide you with a weekly average of time needed for completion of tasks. To use a more mundane example, when you want to lose weight, losing it in five-pound segments or one-month intervals could help you to let go of any stress associated with a big number.

It is too risky

Add the excuse-it is too risky. It is true that at times in our lives what we are thinking about doing may seem too risky. However, how could you work through the aspects that are fearful about what you are about to do while validating what you really cannot risk. Once you have made that determination, Susan Jeffers guides us to feel the fear and do it any way. In her book, “Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway” she relates that pushing ourselves into and through fear is actually less frightening than living with the bigger underlying fear that comes from a feeling of helplessness. It is the relief from this helplessness that gives us the power to make decisions and take action more quickly and as it builds our confidence that we can tackle anything.

I am not strong enough

Next is, I am not strong enough. When we think about being strong enough we often do not visualize physical strength rather we are talking about emotional strength and resistance. Have you ever experienced someone who just seemed to have such inner strength that they could do anything? What they are exercising is willpower. Most authors agree that willpower is both exhaustible and creatable, that is you have a given supply at the beginning of the day and by the end of the day you most likely have exhausted your supply depending upon the challenges you faced. However, when you overcome a struggle or temptation you build the willpower needed to face even greater challenges. What could you do today to build willpower for the future?

It has never happened before

And finally, one of my favorites, it has never happened before. We are creatures of comfort yet think of what we can accomplish when we let go of the path we are on to follow a different path. Many of us are examples of individuals with college degrees, experiences and businesses that did not exist prior to our creativity, and roles in organization that did not exist previously, etc. The list is endless. How are you making excuses to limit yourself in ways that take you away from your highest dreams? Mathew Kelley in “The Dream Manager” tells us that dreams are invisible, but powerful-associating them with electricity that cannot be seen yet keeps everything going. Investing in your dreams is a powerful way to move beyond the limitations that you set for yourself when you allow yourself to use the excuse that it has never happened before.

What would I be

The next time you are tempted to come up with an excuse for why you cannot act, think about this list and ask yourself

“who would I be without this excuse”? Then ask yourself,

“what would I have to do if I wasn’t using this excuse?”

You might be surprised at the answer.

 

To Your Success,

Peggy

Turning Dreams into Goals

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“Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world.”    – Harriet Tubman
“Are you the dreamer of your dream?” This is one of my favorite questions when helping clients clarify what they really really want. Can you honestly say that the path you are on is one that is chosen by you? Many of us are following the path we are on because it is convenient, simple, safe, etc. We may be feeling like there is something bigger out there but just do not quite have the time, energy and/or courage to pursue it. If this describes you, a quick scan of what is holding you back may be in order!

What’s Holding You Back?

What holds us back from being the “dreamer of our dreams”? First and probably the most important thing that holds us back is the influence of and decisions we made during our formative years. We may have made choices about our future that are based upon what our parents, siblings, teachers and even childhood friends thought we were capable of. Later, our partners and other relationships came into play. Although it is important to include the perspectives of these relationships in dreams along with the changes that might impact them, it is definitely not a promising idea to give full power for our decisions.
A second thing that holds us back is our tapes about ourselves which could also come from our formative years but also can develop from recent interactions with others, the media, and just beliefs that we have learned along the way. I call these messages “tapes” because they are on a continual loop in our mind. They include phrases such as: I cannot; I am not; you are not; you do not; etc. If you want to know what tapes are running through your mind, spend several moments each day in reflection. I promise you they will surface.

Are you Stuck?

Resilience researchers suggest that we can get stuck believing that our environments and adverse events determine our future when in reality it is our reaction to those environments and events that determine our future. The interpretation along with the meaning we assign to the events can determine whether we experience positive movement forward or a life of desolation and feeling stuck. Where in your life are your beliefs creating the future that you want to live into and where are you diminishing the dreams you have?
A close companion to other people’s tapes running in our heads is the actual self-talk we engage in with ourselves. We constantly talk to ourselves, and our self-talk becomes our reality as we live into those thoughts and beliefs. We do not look for reasons that enable us to live into our dreams instead we find examples and experiences that prove our dreams cannot become reality. Negative self-talk is extremely dangerous as the more frequently we engage in it, the more entrenched and reinforced our beliefs become. In fact, the most recent research in neuroscience suggests that negative thoughts look for other negative thoughts to connect with in our brains which even more solidifies the negative message. A very scary proposition indeed.

Reflect on Your Self Talk Daily

A good exercise is to reflect on your self-talk daily and determine where you are continuing the negative tapes. As you analyze these tapes you can begin to rewrite them both mentally and physically and shape them into the dreams you desire. Wayne Dyer in When You Believe It, You Will See It challenges us to transform our limiting beliefs into opportunities through a willingness to see situations differently. Imagine that you are a coach and are talking to yourself. How would you support and challenge yourself to see what you perceive as your limitations differently? What evidence would you share that demonstrates the possibility of your dreams becoming reality? As long as we ignore the proof to believe differently about ourselves, we remain stuck in others’ beliefs as well as our own unsubstantiated beliefs about ourselves.
Complacency can also hold us back. We get comfortable with the way things are in our lives and moving beyond them or changing them feels like too much effort. Yes, it is sometimes difficult to energize ourselves when we are comfortable, but we are talking about your dreams right? Gay Hendricks in The Big Leap shares that people can have what he calls an “Upper Limit Problem” and this problem prevents them from truly moving from complacency into their dreams. He asks the reader to respond to four questions.
  • First, am I willing to increase the amount of time that I feel good inside?
  • Second, Am I willing to increase the amount of time that my whole life goes well.
  • Third, am I willing to feel good and have my life go well all the time?
  • And finally, are you willing to take the Big Leap to your ultimate level of success in love, money, and creative contribution?
Answering yes to these questions will begin the movement out of complacency and into your dreams.

Are You Ready to Turn A Dream into a Reality?

If you are ready to turn a dream into a reality by setting a goal and following through with that goal, join faculty member Carol Assalian’s research study which explores how we move through challenges when engaging in behavior change.
The link for the research project is kaskor.research@gmail.com. Please register by July 29. It might be just what you need to jumpstart a goal you set earlier in the year!

High Achievers Have Grit

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High Achievers Have Grit

 

“Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.”
— T.S. Eliot

When you think of the word “grit”, I am certain that you have your own definition of it. Steven Kottler in “The Art of the Impossible” shares that Sir Francis Galton was one of the first researchers to explore the connection to grit and high achievement. Galton believed that talent wasn’t enough to differentiate high performers from others, rather he landed on two characteristics which are “zeal” and “capacity for hard labor”. Later, Angela Duckworth in her book “Grit” agrees that achievement is more than just talent and the grit is about “passion” and perseverance”. In fact, Duckworth’s research has demonstrated that grit has twice the impact on success as academic achievement. Kottler believes that there are six types of grit that lead to peak performance which are; perseverance, willpower, mindset, passion, thought control, and self-talk. Let’s explore each one separate in the remainder of the article.

Perseverance

Kottler suggests that of the six he identified, we are most familiar with the concept of perseverance and see it as day-to-day steadfastness that is fully committed to achievement. We are able to continue on regardless of the circumstances. Duckworth’s work suggests that people with more grit choose engagement with life and all of it’s challenges rather than pleasure as a pathway to happiness. Think about times you were the most “grittiest”. What achievements did you accomplish and what level of satisfaction did you derive from your success?

Napoleon Hill in “Think and Grow Rich” (written in 1937) believed that persistence was an essential factor in turning desire into action. He added that many throw their hands up in reaction to misfortune or opposition. In his book, he identified 16 symptoms of lack of persistence many of which are still relevant today. His symptoms include; failure to clearly define what one wants; wishing instead of willing, procrastination, searching for shortcuts, fear of criticism, and lack of interest in acquiring specialized knowledge.

John Medina in “Brain Rules” shares that our brains are wired to return to doing what we have always done. We need to stay consciously aware of the choices we are making in order to consistently take action towards our goals. Additionally, perseverance draws upon the energy of commitment to our goals which allows us to overcome the obstacles that we face. One strategy when faced with obstacles is to break the goal down into small actions that lead to success. Just doing one action each day towards your goal will build the momentum to keep you going when you want to give up.

Willpower

Numerous studies have demonstrated the influence of willpower on achievement. Two of the most important contributions are the findings around delay of gratification and willpower fatigue. Walter Michel’s early work on delay of gratification suggested that there is a “hot-and-cool” system which describes willpower failure or success. Michel suggested that the cool system is our cognitive thinking process, is more reflective, and provides rationale for why we should not engage in a behavior misaligned with our goals. The hot system represents our emotional triggers and our impulsive reactions to them. Michel theorized that when willpower does fail, the hot system wins out with regards to behaviors. From a brain perspective, these impulsive reactions create neuropathways in the brain which lead to responses to future triggers. For some, this is the work of developing and strengthening willpower.

A second theory suggest that we have a limited supply of willpower. Roy Baumeister in “Willpower: Rediscovering the Greatest Human Strength” shares that decision fatigue impacts the amount of willpower one has available. Baumeister shares that when we experience decision fatigue we are more likely to postpone or avoid a decision, give into our impulses, choose the default option and self-indulge. Conversely, we are also less likely to compromise.

How does one strengthen willpower? One of the best ways is to avoid temptation. James Clear in “Atomic Habits” advises that we should not only avoid temptations but use implementation intentions. Implementation intentions start with an “If-then” statement and prepare us for situations that may be impacted by impulsive decisions and situations in which we find it difficult to say no. Implementation intentions can help us improve upon our self-control thus strengthening willpower. Finally, research indicates that willpower is not ever fully exhausted even though we may feel like it. We still keep some in reserve and that’s what we have to tap into through using the right motivations.

Mindset

The Marriam-Webster dictionary defines mindset as both “a mental attitude or inclination and a state of mind.” Carol Dweck in “Mindset” shares that her perspective is that mindsets are a state of mind. When we have closed mindsets, we believe that personal qualities are unchangeable, personality and/or intelligence is unshakable, we tend to see failure as personal and rejecting, and hiding weaknesses is mandatory. When we have growth mindsets, we recognize that we can improve and change behaviors, we believe that the future presents opportunities for growth, we are more likely to build on talents, and see problems as challenges in need of solutions.

Modern biology and psychology have proven that we can grow at any point in our lives. Epigenetics offers us the concept that our genes can turn off and on as a response to triggers in the environment. Jessica Forrest in “Mindsets: Understanding Growth and Fixed Mindsets in Order to Think Positively for Powerful Results” shares that “most of our qualities can be changed through training, conditioning, and experience”. This concept also applies to brain plasticity. It is a heavily researched area that demonstrates that our brains have the capacity for change and growth at every age.

Passion

Kotler shares that when we have curiosity, passion and purpose, grit takes care of itself. Curiosity is foundational to passion and when curiosity ignites with passion the fire builds towards intrinsic motivation. Combine these two ingredients with meaning and purpose and the individual becomes unstoppable as the ingredients increase core performance traits of resilience, productivity, and focus.

Once we are fully aware of what gives life meaning, we can connect the dots to passion. If I were sitting with you and asked, “are you living into your passions”, what would your response be? Would you be able to answer that question quickly and clearly or would you need time to think about it? Cheryl Richardson in “Finding Your Passion” shares that we have to be able to access our feelings to find our passion. Passions come from our heart yet at the same time we can stifle them with our head. She continues with the concept that getting to the depth of our passions require a high degree of self-care. Without this self-care we are at the whim of the day-to-day urgent instead of slowing down long enough to recognize what we find exciting, joyful, and moving. This lack of connectedness also results in roadblocks to living passionately.

How do we discover our passions? Reflection becomes an essential component of discovery. Without that reflection we continue down a path that was many times predetermined for us by parents, siblings, friends, mentors and possibly even colleagues. Gay Hendricks in “The Big Leap” differentiates between the zone of excellence and zone of passion. He believes when we are in our zone of genius, we are living into our passions.

Thought Control

Our thinking can also be noisy and resulting from excessive input reducing our ability to calm the mind and control thoughts. Do your noisy thoughts lead to positive thinking or negative thinking? Our thoughts determine our emotional states. To borrow from Jim Loehr’s writings in “The Power of Story” our thoughts lead us into our emotional states which can be defined as opportunity based or fear based. Byron Katie in “Loving What Is” challenges us to examine how we feel when we think a thought with the statement “how do you feel when you think that thought?. She encourages us to consider the converse with the statement “How would you feel if you did not think that thought?” This brings power back to choices we can make about our thoughts.

Steven Hayes in “A Liberated Mind: How to Pivot to What Matters” encourages us to build flexibility skills to counter thoughts that are not taking us into what matters most to us. He shares that when we notice our thoughts from a curious perspective, remain open to emotions, stay in the present, and align values with habits we develop a greater ability to manage our thoughts. A major improvement in your life can happen when you are able to recognize and pay attention to your thoughts, particularly the negative ones, and transform them into more positive ones.

Self-Talk

The term self-talk often refers to that subconscious voice inside your head that chatters away at you. Sometimes called egocentric speech or discursive chatter, self-talk can become as unnoticeable as background music. For example, when you wake up each morning and look into the mirror, what are the voices saying? Do you need a haircut, need to lose weight, or need any number of improvements? Self-talk can be positive as well as negative. When self-talk is positive, it can uplift you when things aren’t going your way, bolster your self-confidence to try new activities and deepen relationships. But negative self-talk, on the other hand, can interfere with performance, put a black cloud over relationships and erode your self-esteem.
Self-talk has a number of sources. It can come from others-originating with messages received in childhood from parents, teachers and/or friends. It also comes from our successes and disappointments with life and the things we remember and reinforce about ourselves. The key here is that since it’s our self-talk, we own it. Once you begin to recognize the chatter, you can start to deal with the negativity and lower its intensity. Better still, you can take this powerful source of transformation and try to harness it into positive energy.

Susan David in “Emotional Agility” shares that we have a constant cineplex inside our heads creating chatter which then circulates self-defeating emotions, thoughts and behaviors. These emotions, thoughts and behaviors lead to stories we create about our thoughts and experiences. The more negative the story, the more intense the chatter. I frequently ask clients to stop throughout the day and listen to the chatter in their minds. It is only through self-awareness that we can begin to reduce the negativity and replace it with positive self-talk.

Grit has many facets that we can engage in to lift performance. Global IOC has an assessment that will help you determine which aspects of Peak Performance you can focus on and develop into strengths in 2022. Additionally, Global IOC offers an eight-week training program of which Grit is just one topic. For more information, go to Peak Performance Program – Global Institute of Organizational Coaching.

Coaching in Stillness, Mindfulness and Reflection

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Coaching in Stillness, Mindfulness and Reflection

 

It’s the beginning of the new year, which typically brings a time for reflection and assessment of the past year as well as planning for the new one.  Do you find yourself jumping right into setting goals and taking action or are you taking the time to listen to that small quiet voice inside that wants to guide some of the decisions?  Ryan Holiday, in “Stillness is the Key”  shares that there are several methods for quieting the mind; becoming present, limiting your inputs, emptying the mind, slowing down and thinking deeply, journaling, cultivating silence and letting go.  This blog will focus on a discussion of these ideas.

Becoming Present

Nancy Kline in “More Time to Think” shares that listening is a creative force.  In working with clients, the quiet between the question and the answer can often elicit information that was buried and is now unearthed.  I was talking with a client recently who shared that she didn’t realize she was feeling guilty about a past relationship until she was talking with a friend and it came up out of the blue. This form of listening either to our own quiet or the quiet that a coach or good friend allows, is not to uncover or discover to make a move, rather it is to go deeper into what can be rather than what is.

Emptying the Mind and Cultivating Silence

Dza Kilung Rinpoche in “The Relaxed Mind”  believes that it is in calming the mind that allows insights to emerge that guide us to our joys, happiness and also to know who we are.  It is in learning who we are that we can determine what’s important and what is not.  Until we differentiate between the important and unimportant, we make everything important and lose focus.  Returning our mind to a relaxed state of presence brings a clear and undisturbed view of our lives that leads to the nuggets of truth we need to move forward.

Limit Input

Shawn Achor, in “Before Happiness” calls excessive input noise.  Achor believes that noise is any information that is negative, false, unnecessary or prevents us from being able to reach our full potential.  He places noise in four categories; unusable, untimely, hypothetical, or distracting.  A skill for everyone to build is the ability to filter through all of the information we receive on a daily basis to determine what is factual, usable, timely and relevant.  How often do you evaluate the external noise in your life based upon these criteria?  How does the noise in your life prevent you from limiting input?  Achor contends that if we just reduce the noise by 5% we can be considerably more successful with the endeavors we are engaged in.

Our thinking can also be noisy and add to excessive input reducing our ability to calm the mind.  Do your noisy thoughts lead to positive thinking or negative thinking?  Wayne Dyer in “You’ll See It When You Will Believe It” proposes that many highly respected thinkers from an array of different disciplines subscribe to the belief that thought determines how our lives will go.  Our thoughts determine our emotional states.  To borrow from Jim Loehr’s writings in “The Power of Story” our thoughts lead us into our emotional states which are opportunity based or fear based with noise being fear based.  When I am coaching clients, one of the most difficult concepts to understand is the idea that we choose our own thoughts-they don’t just happen to us.  A major improvement in your life can happen when you are able to recognize how noise impacts your thoughts-particularly the negative ones.

Journaling

When many people think of journaling, they have the image of a teenage girl writing about her dreams or even Ann Frank who shared dire circumstances during WWII.  Ryan Holiday shares that many of the great leaders and thinkers journaled daily as a practice of reflection including Marcus Aurelius, John Quincy Adams, Ben Franklin, and Queen Victoria to name a few.  The quiet that occurs when we are journaling can lead to a deeper discovery of ourselves.  James Pennebaker, in “Opening Up by Writing It Down”  shares that just 15 minutes per day of writing can lead to deeper thinking.  Daily writing can also help you slow down, watch your mind, and hold yourself still.  Finally, journaling has health benefits that can lead to clearing your mind which include; releasing feelings and stress, increasing self-awareness, identification of emotional triggers, and letting go of unwanted thoughts.

Letting Go

Something we are never taught yet is one of the biggest struggles we face as humans is the need to let go.  Letting go of expectations about self and others and wanting things to be perfect can lead to acceptance of what is and ultimately the calm we desire.  In Brene Brown’s book “The Gifts of Imperfection”,  she invites us to let go of perfection and defines perfection as “the belief that if we live perfect, look perfect, and act perfect we can minimize or avoid the pain of blame, judgment and shame.”  Brown shares that perfectionism serves as a shield that we believe will protect us when in reality it keeps us from letting go.  When we engage in perfectionism, we need the approval of others in order to feel good about ourselves.  Letting go of perfectionism is one step towards calming the mind as we no longer energize a false sense of self.

Mindfulness

Mindfulness is being added as a practice that can grow stillness.  Williams and Penman in “Mindfulness: An Eight Week Plan for Finding Peace in a Frantic World”  share a few myths of what mindfulness is not in their book.  First, mindfulness is not a religion rather it is a way to train yourself mentally to calm the mind.  Second, it doesn’t require a specific position such as sitting cross-legged on pillows on the floor and can be done anywhere.  I have clients who practice it on planes.  Third, it does not require a specific amount of time.  However, it will require you to invest, persist, and demonstrate some degree of patience when building your mindfulness practice.  Fourth, it is not something you measure and give yourself a grade after doing as it is not something one is successful at or fails at doing. In fact, learning and growth can occur during every session.  Fifth, it doesn’t alter desire and/or drive for success, rather it allows you to see the world more clearly so that the actions you take align with what really matters to you.

This blog provided you with numerous tools that you can use to guide stillness, mindfulness and reflection as you move through 2022.  For a more in-depth discussion of stillness, please join Global IOC’s webinar and panel discussion on January 26 at Noon EST.  Zoom meeting link.

Leader as Coach; Coach as Leader

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Leaders in meeting

Although leadership is recognized as a universal phenomenon, it still lacks a common definition and theoretical foundation that can be empirically tested. The good news is that we have shifted from the “hero” or “great man myth” into a view of leadership that is inclusionary, participatory, collaborative and transformative. An organization’s ability to be effective and adapt its environment to the post-pandemic VUCA world requires sustainable, effective leadership that cascades through the organization. Among other things, organizations need leaders for inspiration, enthusiasm, focus, and to strategically guide their vision, mission and culture. Strong leadership is often viewed as one of the most important factors in organizational health and growth yet, many organizations struggle with the development and scaling of leadership behaviors.  This blog focuses on the development of coaching skills to complement leadership behaviors.

In a recent article by the World Economic Forum, a survey suggested that 40% of employees are considering leaving their jobs.  40% of employees are thinking of quitting their jobs, says survey | World Economic Forum (weforum.org) This will create an incredible talent gap for some organizations.  Using coaching skills to develop and better understand the needs, values and drivers of individual behavior of employees might influence the desire to remain with an organization.  Kelly in “The Dream Manager” shares that the destinies of the organization and individual potential are interwoven.   He threads the concept of “best version of self” throughout his message which is inclusive of both the organization best version and individual best version.  This requires that both the individual and organization deeply explore what is valued, the meaning made from those values and alignment of action with the values.

Anderson and Adams also consider exploration of values to be important to leadership behaviors.  In “Scaling Leadership” the authors share that development of others starts with the development of self as leader.  In addressing the VUCA world that has been exacerbated globally by the pandemic, leaders are encouraged to close their own development gaps.  A self-understanding about meaning making, decision making, emotional intelligence and beliefs and assumptions guide the leader in developing skills to address the complexities of leadership.  When this happens for the individual leader, it begins to cascade down through direct reports which then creates the “scale” necessary for coaching and developing leaders at all levels.  The competencies of the high creative leadership behaviors identified by the authors are very much aligned with great coaching.

Boyatzis and McKee in “Resonant Leadership” add another component to “Leader as Coach; Coach as Leader”.  Focusing on the benefits of emotional connection, the authors position the relationship as key to successful coaching which has been proven time and time again in the research.  The resonant coaching leader not only creates resonance with followers but also creates this resonance with self through the process of renewal.  Leaders are so conditioned to “doing” that they often sacrifice “being” and reflection.  Boyatzis and McKee share that developing a renewal process provides increased energy and engages the mind, body, and heart in shifting to positivity and healthier relationships.  Kouzes and Posner while researching and writing about leadership in “Encouraging the Heart” share this thinking with Boyatzis and McKee.  They contend that effective leader coaches are connected with followers as they demonstrate genuine caring for the follower.  Without this caring, the follower may experience his or her leader as simply transactional rather than transformational.

Transformational leadership connects leading and coaching, as it empowers others, is congruent with a core set of values, focuses on continuous development, and inspires a shared vision through translating dreams into reality.  Blanchard, in Morgan’s “Profiles in Coaching” believes that leadership and coaching go “hand-in-hand” and that coaching is a form of leadership requiring leaders to discover their own direction, purpose and mission.  Upon reflection and clarity about direction, purpose and mission, coaching and leadership involve guiding the follower’s focus and action on what is important in life through identification of strategies for accomplishing values and goals.  Blanchard ties this process back into a model for servant leadership by suggesting that through the coaching process, the leadership pyramid turns upside down and the leader becomes the supporter for the self-directed achievement of followers.

Coaches in a meetingSupport is also a component of the coaching thinking partnership which engages the leader and direct report in gaining clarity about goals, holding followers accountable for agreed upon actions and celebrating with followers when goals are met.  These leaders provide opportunities for emergent and meaningful conversations. The leader coach sees himself or herself as a barometer of where the follower is with regards to their own thought processes. Questions are asked to draw out deeper, more thoughtful, meaningful conversations and take the follower into thinking about future possibilities.  Questions such as “what will success look like for this project?” and “what might create challenges for the project?” cause a follower to think both in terms of best-case scenarios while also preparing to overcome challenges.  Chip and Dan Heath in “Decisive” use this exercise as a “pre-parade and post-mortem” discussion.  Interestingly, it is typically easier for followers to brainstorm the challenges than the successes which creates another opportunity for coaching.

The paradox of the leader as coach phenomenon exists in duality in that it is both about the development of self and the development of relationships with others.  Leaders as coaches drive change yet stabilize the team.  They also honor past successes while looking forward to the future.  Finally, leaders as coaches integrate both science and art.  Managing the paradox contributes to its complexity and to the complexity of designing effective leader as coach development programs.   

 

Join us on June 23rd for our next webinar on “Leader as Coach; Coach as Leader” for more on this topic.

Motivation Through Three Lenses: Self, Direct Reports, and Teams

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motivational quote

Motivation Through Three Lenses: Self, Direct Reports, and Teams – by Dr. Peggy Marshall

Motivation is one of the most talked about phenomena and possibly the least understood.  It becomes even more complicated when viewed through the lenses of self, direct reports, and teams.  Some of the motivators are the same for all three and yet some are very different.  First, let us start by defining motivation.  For about the past 50 years, Deci and Ryan have been the definers of motivation through the lens of Self Determination Theory which focused on the levers of intrinsic and extrinsic motivation.  A simplification of the distinction between intrinsic and extrinsic motivation comes from Gagne and Deci (2005) as they positioned intrinsic motivation as autonomous motivation and extrinsic motivation as controlled motivation.  Those two words are extremely significant as we move forward with this article on motivation as choice becomes center stage when we are working with ourselves and others on motivation.

No discussion of motivation would be complete without addressing the process of change along with the “why” for the change.  Norcross in “Changeology” shares that we need to be “psyched up” about the change to pursue it.  Many authors agree with his thinking with regards to the need for emotional alignment with the new behavior as we need to want to make it happen for it to happen.  Sinek in “Start with Why” Simon Sinek shares that we need a strong “why” to begin the process of change.  Think about New Years resolutions, most of which have been forgotten by now, maybe even yours.  Many individuals in setting a New Years resolution start with “what” they are going to do.  If their “what” is not aligned with a strong “why”, it will make the process more difficult, potentially frustrating and lead to giving up.

Kotler in “The Art of the Impossible” believes that motivation is a “catch-all for three subsets of skills: drive, grit and goals.”  Drive leads with curiosity, passion and purpose which can automate the desired new behaviors.  Pink in his book “Drive,”  connects autonomy, mastery, and purpose to the key motivators of new behaviors.  Both authors are consistent with their thinking in that it is purpose that creates momentum for motivation.  Purpose becomes the forward pointing arrow that sparks us when we feel like giving up.  Loehr and Schwartz in “The Power of Full Engagement”  share that purpose is “the most powerful source of our motivation, perseverance and direction” which serves to maximize our energy when aligned with what matters most to us.

In determining purpose, individuals often start with values to understand what matters most.  Although our values may change slightly throughout our lifetime, many stay consistent over time.  Stulberg and Magness in “Peak Performance: Elevate Your Game, Avoid Burnout, and Thrive with the New Science of Success” The Growth Equation | Art and Science of Success | Brad Stulberg & Steve Magness share that self-transcending purposes aligned with what is valued most is the best way to create motivation and is also important when motivation wanes.  Kotler shares this belief calling it the “massively transformative purpose”.  Focusing on the self-transcending purpose that provides the individual with a perspective of changing something bigger than self can also lead to increased performance.

Often our clients may have difficulty in determining which values are most important to them.  The Values Center has on on-line personal values assessment that provides a report which is useful for coaching.  An interesting component of the assessment is that it groups responses into categories of self-interest, transformation, and common good.  For those clients wanting to explore more transformative and common good values, the report also provides opportunities for reflection and next steps.

Once the values are clear, clients can use the Intended Change Theory process to align the ideal and real selves in a behavior change process.  In this step, clients visualize a desired future state and infuse it with the belief that it is possible to achieve the state.  A discussion of strengths that will be needed to create the desired future leads to clarity and helps to build motivation toward the desired change.  The client “gets real” by determining which values identified earlier will support the necessary changes and then determines where real self and ideal self are not aligned which can impact motivation for change.

When motivating self, individuals, and teams progress matters;  Amabile and Kramer in “The Progress Principle” share that making progress is central to motivation and success.  They share four ingredients to progress that include small wins, breakthroughs, forward movement, and goal completion.  Note goal completion is not the only ingredient, identifying the steps along the way keeps clients focused and motivated. As with any behavior change process measurement and tracking is also important to staying motivated.  Most habit researchers emphasize that without tracking individuals and teams do not have evidence of how far they have come nor do they have insights on how far the goal remains.

Although the focus of this article has been mostly on individuals, the concepts also apply to direct reports and teams with the difference being the relationship.  When coaching direct reports on motivation, it is important to recognize that what motivates your direct may not be what motivates you as the leader.  That is where the values tool can be so effective.  Recognizing what drives the direct report can make the difference between average and top performance.

Finally, from a team perspective, Kotler shares what contributes to team flow.  These attributes include shared goals, shared risk, listening, strong communication, blending egos, equal participation, familiarity, and sense of control.  I would add understanding the values of team members will help with each one of these attributes as it creates an understanding of the earlier discussion of curiosity, passion, purpose, autonomy, and mastery.  It is through understanding one another that relationships deepen and create more motivated teams.

If you found this article interesting and want to learn more about the topic, Global IOC will be hosting a Wednesday Webinar Zoom call on March 10th at 10 AM EST on the topic of Motivation through Three Lenses: Self, Direct Reports, and Teams.

 

Gagne, M. & Deci, E. (2005) Self-determination theory and work motivation. Journal of Organizational Behavior, 26, 331–362.

 

Unwinding the Negative Thinking Spiral

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colorful spiral

Unwinding the Negative Thinking Spiral

By Ursula Clidiere, Ph.D., CBC and Peggy Marshall, Ph.D., CMBC

 

Few of us need reminding that 2020 was a year that represented a massive call to action on so many fronts, but first and foremost, for the helping professions. Additionally, it was a double whammy for many as it challenged most helpers in their capability and capacity, mentally and physically, to help others.  It also presented us with our own needs for being helped, held, and supported.

For the Coaching profession, equally, it meant a period of stretching, learning, growth, further differentiation, research, and so much more. More importantly though, it probably made a few of us realize our own limitations in coaching others while trying to keep “all wheels on our own carriage”.

Why? Even though we were taking in mutual good advice, the good vibes, the tools, the reframing, … negativity at times creeps in like a snaky poison. Before stretching, we did learn more about our own failure than we probably ever wanted, before learning, it meant stumbling or falling. Nonetheless, as a profession we have also experienced a tremendous surge of peer support, learning opportunities (many free of charge!), networking, candor, and help. Yet, experiencing ourselves with a drop of anxiousness, and noticing what a drip of negativity can do to us, may have humbled us, and possibly broadened our own perspective, even filled us with more compassion.

Despite choosing the cloth of the Resilience Protective Factors discussed by Burger and Marshall  Nine Protective Factors of Resilience (globalioc.com) to drape around us, the negativity-poison can penetrate through. Sometimes in small trickly doses that shows itself as an indistinct gray shadow that gives the day a bit of a washed-out appearance. At other times, it might come as a more tidal affront that was difficult to ignore, kidnapping thought processes, and requiring repeated centering before pushing the ‘you are now connected with video’ button on Zoom. The shapes, shades and the duration of these sensations vary greatly but on bad days, it was a trip down the negativity spiral and back. So, what propels us into the negative thinking spiral and more importantly, how do we get back out?

Both Lisa Feldman Barrett in “Seven and a Half Lessons about the Brain” and Rick Hanson in “Hardwiring Happiness” propose that our brains are wired for negativity and threat.  Barrett’s research about the evolution of the brain concludes that the action we are required to take is to determine if something we are about to encounter is a foe or friend.  Similarly, Hanson shares that we once existed in an “eat or be eaten” environment that remains present today.  The challenge becomes that this evaluation of friend or foe or eat or be eaten happens mostly unconsciously.  Additionally, the evaluation becomes cumulative, so the experiences and thoughts pack a greater punch as they connect with one another.

Given these factors, the first step in getting out of the negative thinking spiral is to acknowledge that we are in it.  Shawn Achor in “Before Happiness” shares that we are the creators of our own reality and advises that we choose the most valuable reality.  This means choosing the reality that takes our interpretation of thoughts, events, and circumstances into the best future we can create for ourselves.  Stop and think for a moment.  Upon awaking, what were your first thoughts this morning?  Were you looking forward to the day or were you still thinking about things that happened yesterday or anticipating something unpleasant happening today based upon your calendar?  Whatever you were thinking about possibly came with a story.

As coaches we often guide clients in their narrative or the story of what is happening.  Jim Loehr in “The Power of The Story” shares that stories are powerful ways that we express ourselves. “Your story is your life,” says Loehr.  As human beings, we continually tell ourselves stories — of success or failure; of power or victimhood; stories that endure for an hour, or a day, or an entire lifetime. We have stories about our work, our families and relationships, our health; about what we want and what we are capable of achieving. Yet, while our stories profoundly affect how others see us and we see ourselves, too few of us even recognize that we are telling stories, or what they are, or that we can change them — and, in turn, transform our very destinies.

Emerging from our stories requires us to also evaluate self-talk that is created from the stories. Self-talk is a term that refers to the voices that chatter away in our heads.  Susan David in “Emotional Agility” refers to this chatter as “monkey mindedness” and guides the reader in challenging the thoughts that are not productive.  This constant chatter can be positive as well as negative.   When self-talk is positive, it can uplift you when things are not going your way, bolster your self-confidence to try new activities and deepen relationships. But negative self-talk, on the other hand, can interfere with performance, put a black cloud over relationships and erode your self-esteem.  Unwinding the negative thinking spiral challenges us to examine our self-talk and make changes accordingly.  The key here is that since it is our self-talk, we own it.  And if we own it, we can change it.

This article has provided just two ways to explore and possibly think differently about the negative thinking spiral along with ideas for changing it.  For more resources and tools on “Unwinding the Negative Thinking Spiral”  join, the Global IOC Wednesday Webinar on February 24 at 10 AM EST.  https://us02web.zoom.us/j/85671563794?pwd=TmNGbVNEYXc5LzdVcDdnUzhwdWhCdz09