goals

Harvesting Your Goals

September 1, 2023 by Dr. Peggy Marshall

Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant.
—Robert Louis Stevenson

We are approaching September-the month we think of as harvesting the fruits of our labors. Fall often becomes a time for reflections. The children are back in school; we have taken our vacations and we are enjoying the bounty of the season. Life also has cycles; we sow, we cultivate, and we harvest. This blog is about those three cycles and how we can maximize our potential in each of those cycles. This is especially true since we are not dependent on the weather for our personal successes and can sow seeds at any time of year.

How many times have you heard the expression “You reap what you sow”? This expression is true on so very many levels and can even be proven scientifically. What are you truly planting in your life right now and is it what your heart desires? Farmers do not plant corn hoping that soybeans will grow so why would we plant anything other than what we fully desire to achieve. This is called congruence; aligning all of our actions with what we want for ourselves. Sometimes fear can play a part in what we sow. When you are sowing seeds, do you allow yourself to dream big or do you think your dreams might be somewhat out of reach? Gay Hendricks in “The Big Leap” calls this an upper-limit problem. An upper-limit problem tells us that we can only achieve so much. We play small so that we can be safe. Sowing the best seeds (actions) that align with the highest standards for yourself requires an abundance of courage, yet the results can be unbelievable.

Once you have clarity on what you are sowing, it’s time to cultivate. In congruence terms, this means acting consciously every day in ways that lead to success with your goals. Are the actions you are taking leading you to the outcomes you want or are your actions taking you in a different direction? Jack Canfield in “The Success Principles” shares that when action is taken it triggers other things, people and connections that will carry you to success. He suggests that this is due to others being aligned with what you want to achieve and know you are serious about achieving it. Another aspect for cultivation is mindfulness. Williams and Penman in “Mindfulness: An Eight Week Plan for Finding Peace in a Frantic World” suggest that we have to “wake up” from being on autopilot which sometimes can allow a steady stream of thoughts that are not taking us into the action needed for success. The authors encourage us to first notice when autopilot has taken over our thoughts and then refocus on the most important actions allowing the distractions to fall away.

One major distraction is the excuses we make for inaction. Are you allowing excuses to be the weeds in your garden? Wayne Dyer in “Excuses Begone! How to Change Lifelong Self-Defeating Thinking Habits” shares a number of excuses that start with “It will be too difficult’ to “It’s Going to be Too Risky”. Favorites that I have heard from others include “I don’t have enough time, money, etc.” and “It will upset someone”. What is really in the way for you? What’s the big excuse weighing you down? You have planted seeds, what is stopping you from cultivating them? In order to be successful, you must gain clarity about the obstacles and then rewrite your story about the obstacles.

Jim Loehr in “The Power of Story” provides a framework for rewriting these stories. The first step is to be completely honest with ourselves about the excuse in a statement that begins with “The truth is…” What is the reality about the excuse you are making? Next explore the real consequences of the behaviors resulting from the excuse; “If I continue on this path and do not change…? This step requires that we are fully honest with what the lack of alignment with our goals creates in our life. It is important to not minimize the impact of not stretching for our goals as it can create patterns for future complacency with other goals. Next you have to validate why the goal was chosen (what you sowed); “This goal is important to me because……”. Going back to review the reasons for choosing the goal will reinforce your desire and can bring energy back into your life so that the goal feels more attainable. Finally, the action step towards congruence; “From now on, I will….” What steps will be taken to ensure that the excuses do not develop a life of their own and that your determination to achieve your goal aligns with your daily actions towards your goal? It is important to write these actions down so that you can measure them frequently for alignment with your goal.

As we complete the cultivation step, we move on to harvesting. What were your lessons learned from the cycle? What do you want to repeat as you sow your new seeds? Nancy Kline in “Time to Think” shares that “everything we do depends on the thinking we do first.” She adds that we spend most of our time doing and very little time in thinking and reflection. How might you add reflection about successes to establish new ideas and measurements for actions you want to take going forward.

Next, how do you celebrate the successful bounty that you have created for yourself? The challenges we have overcome now deserve a sense of completion. We know that acknowledgement of success is important to ensuring that we continue successful behaviors. Have you built in opportunities for celebrating small wins or are you simply focused on the final outcome? On the journey to achieve your goals, we need to create milestones along the way. Without stopping to acknowledge that we are in the process of achieving the goal, we remain solely focused on the outcome and may forget to enjoy the journey. Delaying celebrations/rewards can also derail our efforts as we can lose interest in the goal without reinforcement of successes.

Also, how do you share your successes with others? Social support is a key to success and integrating this aspect into your sowing can provide for lasting reinforcement and engagement in your goals. A word of advice here…make sure the people you invite to share with you are people who truly have your best interests in mind. No need to set up a sabotage situation here!

This blog began with the concept of harvesting from the seeds we plant through the actions we take to enjoying the successes of those actions. Again, we can sow seeds at any time and can set goals and take action now to complete those goals we set earlier for 2023.

What’s Your Why?

January 25, 2023 by Dr. Peggy Marshall

“He who has a why to live can bear almost any how”

– Friedrich Nietzsche

Even though clients are feeling the pull towards something different, it may not be enough for them to truly change a behavior. Simon Sinek in Start with Why shares that the “why” we are doing something is the most critical aspect of engaging in the new behavior. He suggests that everything we say and do proves what we believe. While Sinek applies his principles to a corporation, I believe that we can make these same applications to personal behavior change. What are client’s reasons for deciding to make a change? Do you think they are feeling it in their hearts and souls or are they feeling pressure from the outside to become different? When they make your list of “why” you want to change something, are you inspired by the list or do you feel compelled to change to make someone else happy?

Since the “why” is the most important first step in examining what gets in the way of our “whys” is crucial. Borrowing from Kurt Lewin’s change theory, the driving force for the new has to be stronger than the restraining force for the old; meaning your why has to be stronger than your why not. Additionally, Wayne Dyer in Excuses Be Gone shares that the power of our beliefs can keep us in a stuck position which can impact the “why”. Dyer continues with the analogy that these beliefs act as chains restricting us from experiencing our true destiny. When put this way, becoming unstuck is the motivation for us to solidify the “why” and remove excuses from our lives. Do you want to exercise more but believe that you do not have the time? Do you want to eat healthier, but your family won’t eat the healthier foods you choose? Do you want to focus on a change but have too much on your plate? Sometimes these excuses are extremely subtle, and we don’t even realize we are making them. This is a dangerous place to be as they will sabotage change efforts potentially giving us stronger beliefs towards the “why” not being achievable.

However, once you are crystal clear on your “why” and you are ready to leave your excuses behind, you begin identifying your “whats” and “hows”. In order to support your “why” in changing, you have to decide on “what” needs to happen for success. The “what” to change can sometimes be determined by the problem or issue that is creating the most concern in their lives. This means that ensuring the “what” is something that the client is willing and able to own. Another factor to consider is whether the “what” you are going to change could have an impact on something else that is a problem for you. For example, if you are trying to lose weight, an exercise program will help with that goal. Another example would be if you want to manage your time more effectively, it could have an impact on stress. When zeroing in on your “what” clients have to make sure that the benefit of change outweighs the cost of making it. It is critical that as we make choices about behavior changes we recognize that there is a cost to change. Making a list of what the change requires can help highlight the cost in such a way that you can be realistic about whether you are ready for that particular “what”. Finally, as Jack Canfield shares in Principles of Success, the secret to making your “what” work for you is breaking complex tasks into small manageable tasks in order to create milestones towards success.

The final step is getting clear about the “how”. You have crafted your “why”, you know “what” you are about to change, now the focus is on “how” to do it. As humans, we tend to focus in on one strategy while ignoring ones that might be equally effective. I like the number three when working with clients. What are three routes you could take to accomplishing your goal? Of those three strategies which ones are the best fit for your resources? Which one is the most powerful in that it will give you a quick start towards success? And which one will have the least amount of downside? As we evaluate options, we tend to favor one choice over another. In this step we have to guard against bias that doesn’t take us into complete success and be completely honest with ourselves when making the choice of “how”. Whatever you choose as your “how”, you have to be able to create excitement about the “how”. Chip Conley in Emotional Equations tells us that in order to be successful at anything we have to have a certain amount of drive or pull towards the new behavior. His equation of “Flow=Skill/Challenge” represents the best of the “how” component of change. Ultimately, you have to have the excitement about the new behavior in order for the new behavior to become part of the new you.

As we begin a new year, think about whether your “why” is strong enough to drive changes in your behaviors especially when facing challenges as you engage in them. Then ensure that your “what” and “how” are aligned with your “why”.

Another Year Over, Celebrate Your Successes

December 23, 2021 by Dr. Peggy Marshall

Hi Everyone!

One of my favorite December songs is “Happy Xmas” by John Lennon and Yoko Ono. The lyrics start with

“So this is Christmas
And what have you done
Another year over
And a new one just begun”

Every year when I hear this song, I begin to think about what “I have done” and whether I accomplished the most important things in terms of what I set out to do. There is not a better time for reflection then, at the end of something and the beginning of the new. I know most of you are thinking-“Is she crazy-doesn’t she realize how busy my schedule is?” I certainly do as my schedule is also full. However, if we don’t set aside time for reflection we risk moving into 2022 without a solid evaluation of what’s working in our lives and what is not. As a result we may be destined to repeat 2022 in the same manner that we moved through 2021. Jack Canfield in “The Success Principles” shares that we have to keep score in order to know whether we are creating and reaching goals and part of keeping score is evaluating what we have accomplished. What does your score sheet look like and does it measure what matters most to you?

Keeping score also allows for the process of reflection. Reflection is an important component of how adults learn. We learn from not only from our experiences but also from the interpretations and reinterpretations of those experiences. When we pause and reflect upon circumstances and then apply a different framework to our circumstances we can create new ways of acting and thinking. Using the process of reflection and introspection on an on-going basis leads to increased levels of awareness, insight, and self-acceptance. Many times these moments of reflection can result in epiphanies from which we can chose new thoughts and behaviors. Bob Rotella in “How Champions Think”.

adds that champions self-evaluate and reflect after setting their own standards and do not simply wait for others to provide evaluations in order to move forward into success. What is your process for reflection and self-evaluation?

The end of the year also brings us to a time for celebration. How do you celebrate your success? In a recent meeting with leaders within an organization I work with, leaders were asked how they celebrate. Many did not have a response. When we asked “why”, a couple of obstacles were shared. The first obstacle was there is not enough time. Celebration requires planning and typically ends up at the bottom of a list. They also share that they sometimes hold back celebrating until projects are completed and goals are met. Their thinking was that celebrating too early could lead to a loss of momentum. There have been numerous articles written about the importance of rewarding ourselves when we are making progress not just at the point of completion and that this celebration actually builds momentum. John Norcross in “Changeology” shares that early on in reaching milestones, rewards need to be immediate and intense while later on in a more stabilized change effort rewards are more meaningful. How comfortable are you with celebrating and rewarding your self? In what ways do you reward progress and celebrate success?

As you prepare for 2022, don’t forget to reflect upon 2021 successes. One of the best ways to create our future is to leverage what we know about our past successes! Celebrations can help to rewire our brains so that our focus is on what leads to success rather than what is missing. Shawn Achor in “The Happiness Advantage” relates that this rewiring creates what he calls the positive tetris effect and sets us up for happiness, gratitude and optimism. As you are making plans and setting goals for 2022, make sure you build in time for rewards and celebrations!

Wishing you the happiest of holiday seasons and looking forward to an awesome 2022 with you!

Dr. Peggy

Nine Things Successful People Do Differently

November 22, 2021 by Dr. Peggy Marshall

Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm. ~Winston Churchill

In a recent Harvard Business Review article, Heidi Grant Halvorson, Ph.D. “Nine Things Successful People Do Differently” identified nine things that successful people do differently from those who struggle with success. As you read through the list, think about how the suggested actions and activities could lead you to greater success in achieving your goals.

Successful people are very specific about their goals. Steven Kottler in “The Art of the Impossible”shares that goals are the blueprint for taking us ‘exactly where we want to go’. A trap that many individuals fall into is believing that a good intention such as “I want to be more productive” or a broad aim such as “I want to hit my sales goal for 2022’ will deliver a change in behavior. Deliberate and specific actions build momentum towards achieving goals by identifying the specific behaviors that will be different.
Plan time for acting on goals. Dan Pink in “When: The Scientific Secrets of Perfect Timing” encourages us to know when our energy is optimal in order to schedule the most important tasks of the day when we have the highest energy. Getting up each morning and making a list of what actions lead us to what matters most helps to create the synergy that connects what matters most to our behaviors. We are all busy people, and it is just this busyness that can prevent us from taking action on our goals. Planning ahead for when we will take action provides us with the momentum to act when it’s most important and eliminates the possibility that we will get to the end of the day and be out of time to take action on the goal.
Continuously Monitor Progress. Successful people monitor their progress regularly and adjust their activities accordingly to ensure that they continue to stay on track. Many people set goals at the beginning of the year, write them down and then put the goals in a drawer only to be found at a time later in the year. To ensure success, determine a process for tracking your success-be it a simple tracking log or some visual that keeps your focus on the goal. There are a plethora of tracking programs available to use to ensure movement towards goals. It is important to find ones that will work for your own tracking process.
Adopt a realistic optimist viewpoint. Shawn Achor in “The Happiness Advantage” Goodthink Inc. – bridging the gap between academic research and the real world asks us to be “realistic about the present while maximizing our potential for the future.” He adds that positive people set more goals, put more effort into attaining goals, stay more focused in the face of adversity, and overcome adversity more readily. Simply believing we can bring about positive change increases motivation and performance. However, this optimism must be tempered with reality. A good exercise as you work towards your goals is to reflect upon past successes and the actions that delivered those results. What activities lifted you to success and which ones got in your way? Make a plan to address those activities/obstacles as part of formulating your goals so that if and when they occur you are ready for them.
Focus on getting better not simply becoming the best. The most recent information about the brain and the development of our talent tells us that we can get better daily as we make new choices. This is a very different concept from earlier beliefs about the fixed nature of ability and intelligence. Neither one is fixed but we must invest in a consistent process to produce the outcomes we desire. Daily deliberate practices that match our ultimate goal provide us with small manageable behaviors taking us in the direction of getting better. These new behaviors lead to becoming the best version of ourselves.
Persist. John Medina in “Brain Rules” shares that our brains are wired to return to doing what we have always done. We need to stay consciously aware of the choices we are making to not backslide into the old behaviors. Additionally, persistence draws upon the commitment to our goals which allows us to overcome the obstacles that we face. One strategy when faced with obstacles is to break the goal down into small actions that lead to success. Just doing one action each day towards your goal will build the momentum to keep you going when you want to give up.
Strengthen your willpower muscle. Think about how you can put activities that lead to reaching your goal on the path of least resistance. For example, if you are beginning an exercise program, putting your clothing in your car will ensure you can stop at the gym on the way home from work and not have to return to your house prior to exercise. It will be a gentle reminder that you have made a commitment to your health. Gretchen Rubin in “Better than Before” suggests that willpower is strengthened when behaviors are scheduled into our calendars.
Don’t tempt fate. Although we can strengthen willpower as discussed above, our willpower is a limited supply. Stephen Guise in “Mini-Habits: Smaller Habits, Bigger Results” shares that there are five major factors which lead to willpower exhaustion; effort, perceived difficulty, negative affect, subjective fatigue and blood glucose levels. Checking in with ourselves on these five variables could help us avoid tempting fate. We are not weak when we run out of willpower-it is a matter of fact. Try to space out the actions that zap your willpower and avoid placing the most taxing willpower draining actions at the end of the day.
Focus on the positive. Positive emotional states contribute to our well-being. Remembering that our focus is a choice we make, we can shift our focus from what’s wrong with a given situation to what’s right. Although frequently criticized, the concept of the Losada line suggests that we need three positive emotions to one negative emotion to flourish. Think about the last experience you had. Was it more positive or negative? Did this experience draw you to it or did it push you away? As mentioned earlier, this does not deny that there are negative and unpleasant experiences, it suggests that we can choose where to focus our energy when situations arise.

Join us for Global IOC’s webinar “Peak Performance” on December 8 when we will discuss these nine behaviors along with others that will help you plan for high levels of success in 2022.

The link to the webinar is https://us02web.zoom.us/j/86048223334?pwd=cmFETlpRdWpkV1J0eWFycm5oN09uQT09