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Book Review – Lead with Purpose: A Story About Leading in Your Personal and Professional Life

February 13, 2025 by Dr. Peggy Marshall

Coaching Corner – Book Review

Lead with Purpose by Dr. Kevin McGarry

Lead with Purpose In Lead with Purpose: A Story About Leading in Your Personal and Professional Life, Dr. Kevin McGarry presents key coaching takeaways through the narrative of Eddie, a corporate leader who becomes the coach of his daughter’s struggling softball team. This journey imparts several valuable lessons:

  1. Adopt a People-Centric Mindset: Eddie learns to prioritize his team’s needs, recognizing that understanding and addressing individual motivations and challenges enhances overall performance.
  2. Embrace Character-Driven Leadership: The story emphasizes leading with integrity and authenticity, demonstrating that a leader’s character profoundly influences team dynamics and success.
  3. Communicate Effectively to Inspire and Motivate: Eddie discovers the importance of clear and empathetic communication, which fosters trust and encourages team members to reach their full potential.
  4. Empower Others by Letting Go of Control – Eddie learns that great leaders don’t micromanage; instead, they trust their team members to step up, make decisions, and grow. By shifting from a directive approach to a coaching mindset, he fosters confidence and ownership among his players.
  5. The Power of Active Listening – One of the biggest transformations Eddie undergoes is learning to truly listen. Rather than jumping in with solutions, he begins asking thoughtful questions and giving his team space to express their thoughts, concerns, and ideas—leading to deeper trust and stronger performance.
  6. Fostering a Growth Mindset – McGarry highlights that successful coaches help their teams embrace challenges as learning opportunities. By encouraging resilience, reframing failures as lessons, and celebrating progress, leaders create an environment where people feel safe to take risks and improve continuously.

These takeaways reinforce McGarry’s core message: leadership is not about having all the answers but about guiding and supporting others to realize their full potential. Additionally, through these insights, McGarry illustrates how coaching, grounded in purpose and character, can transform leadership approaches in both personal and professional contexts.

Available on Amazon

Filed Under: Book Reviews, Corporate Coaching Blog Tagged With: coaching, drama, emotions, misinterpretations, workplace drama

Emotional Contagion: The Ripple Effect of Emotions

February 5, 2025 by Dr. Peggy Marshall

Emotional contagion is a fascinating psychological phenomenon in which one person’s emotions and behaviors trigger similar feelings and actions in those around them, often without conscious awareness. This effect can occur in almost any social setting—whether within families, workplaces, or circles of friends. Picture a scenario where one individual suddenly expresses frustration or agitation. Without realizing it, others in the group may begin mirroring that person’s expressions, tone of voice, or body language. This unconscious mirroring can spread the original emotion, shifting the collective mood and influencing group dynamics, potentially creating a more strained or unproductive environment.

The process of emotional contagion often begins subtly. The book “Emotional Contagion” by Hatfield, Cacioppo, and Rapson though originally published in 1994 is widely cited in psychology, organizational behavior, and leadership studies. It provides foundational knowledge for understanding how emotions spread and influence human interactions. The book remains relevant today, especially with the rise of digital communication, where emotions can be transmitted rapidly through social media and online interactions.

Other researchers have found that our brains are wired to mirror others’ facial cues, a response deeply rooted in human evolution as social beings. Body language also plays a crucial role; we unconsciously pick up on others’ postures, gestures, and overall demeanor, which can convey emotional states such as sadness, enthusiasm, or stress. A slumped posture may signal dejection, while animated, energetic movements can spread excitement to others in the group. Likewise, tone, pitch, and speech rhythm convey emotions such as anger, joy, or anxiety. When someone speaks in a raised, tense tone, listeners may unconsciously mimic those vocal cues, heightening their own stress levels in the process.

As the receiver absorbs these cues, the brain interprets and often internalizes the emotion, creating an empathetic response that feels authentic. In a matter of seconds, emotional contagion can set in, causing the receiver to genuinely experience and reflect the sender’s emotions. This doesn’t stop at mere observation; it extends to behavioral imitation, where the receiver not only feels the emotion but begins acting in ways that align with it. For example, if one person in a group expresses anxiety, this anxiety can quickly spread, leading others to feel similarly tense or stressed. This collective emotional state significantly affects group dynamics, influencing decision-making, communication, and overall productivity.

In group settings, emotional contagion can create a feedback loop where emotions are continuously reinforced and amplified. Positive emotions, such as laughter and joy, can foster an uplifting atmosphere, while shared stress or negativity can escalate into heightened anxiety or resentment. Emotional contagion influences not only individual moods but also the overall tone and effectiveness of teams, families, and social networks.

The Science Behind Emotional Contagion

James H. Fowler and Nicholas A. Christakis, in their book Connected: The Surprising Power of Our Social Networks and How They Shape Our Lives, highlight how emotions spread within social networks, often beyond immediate, face-to-face connections. They argue that emotions ripple through social networks in ways we might not fully recognize, affecting even those who are several degrees removed from the original source. For example, if one person is particularly joyful or distressed, that emotion can extend outward, influencing friends of friends and beyond. This research underscores the interconnected nature of human emotions and how social ties shape behavior, thoughts, and emotional experiences.

Sigal Barsade made significant contributions to understanding emotional contagion, particularly in organizational contexts. Her research explored how emotions, whether positive or negative, permeate group settings, affecting cohesion, decision-making, and productivity. Barsade introduced the concept of the “ripple effect,” where the emotions of one individual create waves throughout a workplace, much like a stone thrown into a pond. Even minor cues—such as a raised eyebrow or a change in tone—can profoundly influence the work environment. In one of her notable studies, Barsade placed participants in small groups where one individual, known as a “confederate,” displayed either positive or negative emotions. The findings demonstrated that the confederate’s mood significantly influenced the emotional state of the entire group and even affected their performance on cooperative tasks.

Richard Boyatzis, along with colleagues Annie McKee and Daniel Goleman, introduced the concept of resonant leadership, which is closely tied to emotional contagion. Resonant leaders are deeply in touch with their own emotions and those of others, creating a positive and supportive emotional climate within their organizations. This leadership style leverages emotional contagion to spread optimism, enthusiasm, and resilience throughout the team, resulting in higher engagement, morale, and productivity. Boyatzis emphasizes that leaders with high emotional intelligence are particularly skilled at managing emotional contagion. They are aware of how their emotions affect others and can harness emotional contagion to inspire and motivate, cultivating an environment where employees feel valued and empowered. Such leaders also have self-awareness to prevent the spread of negative emotions, which can lead to workplace toxicity and diminished performance.

Emotional Contagion in the Digital Age

In today’s high-stress environments, emotional contagion plays a critical role in team cohesion and productivity. Leaders who understand and manage emotional contagion effectively can transform their teams, fostering environments where individuals are happier and more productive. Conversely, leaders who fail to recognize the effects of their own emotional states risk inadvertently spreading stress, anxiety, or frustration, creating a toxic workplace culture that stifles creativity, collaboration, and performance.

Beyond workplaces and social groups, emotional contagion has profound societal implications. With the rise of social media, emotions now spread more rapidly, reaching vast audiences instantly. News of a global event, for example, can spark fear or outrage within minutes, affecting people worldwide who may then amplify those feelings through comments, posts, and reactions. Social media platforms, designed to highlight emotionally charged content, act as accelerators for emotional contagion, influencing collective mindsets and even social movements. This ability to transmit emotions on a massive scale means that emotional contagion has taken on a new, often intensified dimension in the digital age.

Managing Emotional Contagion

Understanding and managing emotional contagion requires mindfulness, empathy, and emotional intelligence. Whether in personal relationships, workplaces, or broader social settings, recognizing how emotions unconsciously spread allows individuals to cultivate more intentional interactions. Practicing self-awareness and emotional regulation can help reduce the spread of negative emotions while fostering environments where positive emotional contagion can thrive. By harnessing emotional contagion not as an uncontrollable force but as a tool, individuals and leaders can create supportive, resilient, and emotionally attuned communities.

Coaching can play a critical role in helping leaders and teams navigate emotional contagion effectively. By incorporating coaching techniques, individuals can learn to regulate their own emotions, build resilience, and foster positive emotional contagion within their organizations. Effective coaching approaches include: Emotional Intelligence Development: Helping individuals become more aware of their emotions and how they influence others. Mindfulness Training: Encouraging practices that enhance self-regulation and reduce stress responses. Cognitive Reframing: Teaching techniques to shift negative emotional patterns into constructive ones. Communication Coaching: Enhancing leaders’ ability to communicate emotions effectively to inspire and support their teams. Resilience Coaching: Helping employees develop strategies for managing stress and maintaining a positive workplace culture. By integrating coaching into leadership development and team dynamics, organizations can create a workplace environment that not only prevents negative emotional contagion but actively promotes a culture of well-being and productivity.

Join us on February 12 at 11 EST for our webinar on “Detach from Drama”.  Emotional contagion is a key component of drama and resources and tools for addressing it will be discussed in more detail.  https://us02web.zoom.us/j/89306258336?pwd=DKiN81Y6PdmueKawvEa6NQlCaoHi14.1

 

 

 

Filed Under: Corporate Coaching Blog Tagged With: coaching, drama, emotions, misinterpretations, workplace drama

Detach from Drama

January 17, 2025 by Dr. Peggy Marshall

puppy relaxing listening to music on a headset

 

Detaching from drama requires individuals to consciously break the cycle of faulty interpretation that often fuels unnecessary conflict and emotional turmoil. This cycle typically begins with a misinterpretation or distortion of an event, thought, or experience, which is then followed by an emotional reaction that reinforces the initial misinterpretation. From there, individuals construct a narrative around the event, embedding their perspectives and emotions into a story that supports their version of reality. They may then share this story with others, seeking validation and support to reinforce their interpretation. Breaking free from this cycle involves pausing to reflect on the initial interpretation, questioning its accuracy, and separating facts from emotional reactions. By reframing the narrative and resisting the urge to seek validation for a potentially distorted reality, individuals can foster clarity, objectivity, and healthier interactions. This detachment reduces personal stress and helps create a more constructive and drama-free environment.

Cognitive Biases

The root of these distortions often lies in faulty meaning triggered by cognitive and emotional filters. Cognitive biases, such as confirmation bias, negativity bias, and attribution bias, play a significant role in shaping these interpretations. Confirmation bias is the tendency to seek, interpret, and remember information in ways that confirm preexisting beliefs, often leading to selective attention and reinforcement of stereotypes. For example, a manager who believes an employee is not a team player may interpret a missed meeting as proof of their assumption, disregarding the employee’s consistent contributions. Similarly, negativity bias causes individuals to give greater psychological weight to negative experiences, overshadowing positive contributions or intentions. A single criticism during a performance review can disproportionately shape an employee’s perception of themselves or their relationship with their reviewer. Attribution bias further distorts meaning by attributing others’ behaviors to internal flaws while justifying one’s own behaviors with external factors, such as blaming a colleague’s missed deadline on laziness while attributing one’s own to an overwhelming workload.

Emotional Filters

Emotional filters, shaped by past experiences and strong emotions, further complicate the interpretation of events. Past experiences, especially those with strong emotional significance, leave imprints that create mental shortcuts in new situations. For example, someone who faced repeated criticism in the past might misinterpret neutral feedback as negative, triggering defensiveness or avoidance. Similarly, strong emotions like fear, anger, or excitement can skew reality and narrow focus. Fear amplifies perceived threats, anger narrows attention to perceived injustices, and excitement can lead to overconfidence and overlooked risks. These filters can heighten emotional responses, distort perceptions, and create self-fulfilling prophecies that reinforce faulty meanings.

The interplay between cognitive biases and emotional filters often exacerbates faulty interpretations. Confirmation bias can reinforce negative assumptions rooted in negativity bias, while attribution bias can escalate tensions by unfairly assigning blame. These interconnected biases contribute to the drama cycle and hinder constructive relationships. Recognizing and addressing these biases and filters is essential for fostering healthier dynamics in both personal and professional settings.

The Narrative

Creating a narrative to align others with an individual’s perspective often involves crafting a story that reinforces their interpretation of an event, thought, or experience. This narrative typically embeds the individual’s emotions, assumptions, and biases, framing the situation in a way that supports their reality. The goal is often to gain validation, support, or agreement from others, which can reinforce the individual’s perspective and give it greater perceived legitimacy.

While sharing one’s perspective is a natural part of human communication, this process can become problematic when the narrative is built on faulty interpretations or biases, such as confirmation bias or negativity bias. For instance, an individual might present a skewed account of a workplace conflict, emphasizing perceived injustices or omissions while omitting critical context. This can escalate tensions, polarize opinions, and perpetuate the drama cycle as others align with the distorted perspective.

Breaking this pattern requires individuals to reflect critically on the narratives they construct and share. Rather than seeking alignment through emotional appeals or selective storytelling, individuals can focus on fostering open dialogue that incorporates multiple perspectives. Coaches can support this process by helping individuals recognize the influence of biases and emotional filters on their narratives, encouraging curiosity about alternative viewpoints, and promoting clarity and objectivity in communication. By shifting the goal from validation to understanding, individuals can align others around shared realities rather than distorted interpretations, fostering collaboration and belonging.

The Role of Coaching in Detaching from Drama

Coaching plays a transformative role in helping individuals navigate the complexities of faulty interpretations and emotional reactivity, empowering them to detach from drama and foster healthier interactions. A skilled coach can facilitate self-awareness, guiding individuals to identify when cognitive biases—such as confirmation bias, negativity bias, or attribution bias—and emotional filters are distorting their perceptions. This self-awareness is a foundational step in breaking the cycle of misinterpretation and reaction, as it allows individuals to recognize how their past experiences and emotions shape their current responses.

Encouraging mindfulness is another critical aspect of coaching. By teaching individuals to pause and reflect before reacting, coaches help them separate facts from emotional reactions. This intentional pause creates space for clarity and balance, reducing the likelihood of escalating misunderstandings or perpetuating unhelpful narratives. When individuals can step back and assess a situation objectively, they are better equipped to respond thoughtfully rather than react impulsively.

Promoting perspective-taking is equally important. Coaches can help individuals broaden their understanding by encouraging them to consider alternative viewpoints and empathize with others’ perspectives. This practice not only reduces misunderstandings but also enhances communication and collaboration. For example, a coach might challenge a client to explore the external factors influencing a colleague’s behavior, helping them shift from assigning blame to seeking solutions. Such exercises cultivate a more nuanced understanding of interpersonal dynamics and build stronger, more trusting relationships.

Open communication is another area where coaching can make a significant impact. Coaches can teach individuals how to articulate their thoughts and feelings clearly, while also encouraging them to listen actively to others. This fosters transparency and reduces the risk of misinterpretation, helping teams navigate challenging situations with greater ease. When individuals feel heard and understood, they are less likely to engage in defensive or dramatic behaviors, which helps create a more harmonious work environment.

Acknowledging that experiences and emotions can sometimes distort meaning is a crucial step toward cultivating constructive interactions. Coaches can guide individuals through this acknowledgment, reframing assumptions shaped by past experiences and helping them view situations through a more balanced lens. This shift not only minimizes unnecessary conflict but also fosters fairness, collaboration, and inclusion.

Ultimately, the work of a coach is to help individuals replace reactive patterns with intentional, thoughtful behaviors that align with their goals and values. By addressing the filters that influence perception and guiding individuals toward greater objectivity, coaches enable their clients to build stronger connections, resolve conflicts constructively, and cultivate a deeper sense of belonging within their teams and organizations. In this way, coaching becomes a powerful tool for creating environments where individuals and groups thrive both personally and professionally.

Upcoming Webinar

On Wednesday, February 5, The Global Coaching Network and Global IOC will host a webinar focused on the theme of “Detach from Drama.” This event will delve deeper into the concept of detaching from drama, exploring the cognitive and emotional patterns that contribute to misinterpretations and conflict in personal and professional settings. The session will highlight practical strategies for identifying and addressing these patterns, emphasizing the role of coaching in fostering clarity, perspective, and constructive interactions.

 

Filed Under: Corporate Coaching Blog Tagged With: coaching, drama, emotions, misinterpretations, workplace drama

Leader as Coach, Coach as Leader

September 9, 2024 by Dr. Peggy Marshall

If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.” —John Quincy Adams

The integration of coaching and leading roles is increasingly seen as essential in modern leadership. Effective leaders often need to be good coaches, helping their teams navigate challenges, grow their capabilities, and reach their full potential. Likewise, coaches who adopt leadership qualities can inspire and drive collective success, ensuring that the development of individuals aligns with the broader goals of the team or organization. Kevin McGarry in “Lead With Purpose” suggests that employees desire a people-centric leadership approach, where communication, transparency, and character-driven leadership are key. He shares that leaders should focus on fostering collaboration, offering support, and empowering their teams to take ownership of their roles and development. By creating an environment where employees feel heard and respected, leaders can enhance both individual performance and overall team effectiveness.

Why Upgrade Leading/Coaching Skills

Enhanced Team Performance

Coaching to performance focuses on enhancing an individual's or team's ability to achieve specific goals and improve overall effectiveness. It involves leveraging coaching techniques to align efforts, boost skills, and drive results. By using coaching techniques, leaders can help their teams align their personal goals with organizational objectives, enhancing overall performance and productivity. When leaders coach, they help their teams to set clear goals and work towards them more efficiently. This often leads to improved performance and better achievement of organizational objectives.

Jim Collins in both “Good to Great” and “Built to Last” contends that great performance comes from focusing on what an organization can be the best at, what drives its economic engine, and what it is deeply passionate about. He also shares the concept of Level 5 Leadership, a style in which leaders exhibit a combination of humility and professional will. A crucial key to coaching to performance is unlocking potential and improving performance through questioning rather than directive management.

Key Talent Retention

According to the Work Institute 2024 Retention Report in 2023 almost 45 million workers chose to leave their employer voluntarily to likely seek work elsewhere. This indicates that a little over 27% of workers in the U.S. chose to quit their jobs in 2023. There is little doubt that a certain number of employees are simply going to quit their jobs annually. The alarming issue is that the number of quits as a percentage of the civilian labor force has increased 37% since 2014.  Coaching can significantly help retain key talent by fostering personal development, increasing engagement, and creating a supportive environment.  Coaching helps retain key talent by fostering growth, engagement, and resilience, while also building stronger relationships and improving job satisfaction. Investing in coaching sends a clear message that the organization values its employees, leading to longer tenure and reduced turnover​.

Problem Solving Skills

Thinking partnerships are designed to empower the team member to think independently. Rather than offering advice or guiding the conversation, the coach encourages the individual to lead the process. This helps with building confidence in decision-making and problem-solving abilities.  In her book, “Time to Think” Nancy Kline focuses leaders on creating a space where team members can freely express thoughts, explore possibilities, and come to their own insights without interruption or judgment. Critical thinking also helps teams think strategically about goals and align efforts with the broader organizational vision.  Support is a component of the coaching thinking partnership as it provides opportunities for emergent and meaningful conversations. The leader coach sees himself or herself as a barometer of where the team member is in with regards to their own thought processes. Questions are asked to draw out deeper, more thoughtful meaningful conversations and take the team member into thinking about future possibilities.  Questions such as “go forward three-six months, you were amazingly successful with clients, what did you do differently that led to that success?” and “what might get in the way of your success?” cause the team member to think both in terms of best-case scenarios while also preparing to overcome challenges.

Focus on Development and Accountability

Coaches must help team members understand the gap between current performance and desired outcomes. This involves looking at skills, behaviors, and external factors affecting performance through the use of performance reviews, self-assessments, and feedback as strengths and areas for improvement are identified.  Coaching techniques can help employees set their own goals and develop action plans, fostering a sense of ownership and responsibility for their own growth.  Understanding what motivates team members can create an environment that fosters enthusiasm and engagement.  In “The Oz Principle” by Roger Connors, Tom Smith, and Craig Hickman, the authors share distinguishing between “above the line” and “below the line” actions.  Operating "above the line" refers to taking ownership and responsibility for outcomes, both good and bad. It is a proactive approach, where individuals and teams focus on what they can do to improve a situation rather than blaming external circumstances.  Acting "below the line" involves making excuses, blaming others, and feeling like a victim of circumstances. Below-the-line behavior is passive and often involves avoiding responsibility and accountability.

Listening Skills

Many leaders who have been part of the Global IOC coaching program admit they have opportunities for growth in this area.  Not simply listening to respond but listening deeply to understand team members' perspectives and needs. This improves communication and ensures that leaders can address issues more effectively. Great listeners also become adept at providing feedback in a way that is constructive and supportive, helping team members grow and improve.  In “You're Not Listening: What You're Missing and Why It Matters,” Kate Murphy explores the importance of listening in a world where true, attentive listening is becoming increasingly rare. Murphy encourages leaders to be more present in conversations, ask thoughtful questions, and resist the urge to interrupt or formulate a response while the other person is speaking.

Conflict Resolution Skills

Coaching skills enable leaders to facilitate open and constructive dialogues during conflicts, leading to more effective resolution and maintaining a positive work environment.  Approaching conflicts with greater empathy, understanding the underlying issues and working towards mutually beneficial solutions also leads to higher levels of team engagement.  By understanding different perspectives and guiding individuals towards mutually agreeable solutions, leaders can address issues constructively and effectively. Patrick Lencioni, in “The Five Dysfunctions of a Team” shares that conflict resolution is a key part of building cohesive and successful teams. He argues that conflict is a normal component of team collaboration. Avoiding conflict can lead to artificial harmony, where important issues go unresolved, affecting the team's performance.  Team conflict resolution is about helping individuals and teams navigate disputes constructively, build better communication and emotional intelligence, and foster collaborative problem-solving.

Deepening Relationships

Coaching can be a powerful tool for deepening relationships, whether in personal, professional, or organizational settings. Through effective coaching, individuals can develop better communication skills, build trust, and foster deeper connections. Developing deep relationships with team members leads to increased trust, better communication, improved engagement, higher retention, and overall stronger team performance all of which have been discussed previously in this blog. The emotional and professional support gained from these relationships is essential for creating a thriving, collaborative, and resilient work environment.

Boyatzis and McKee in “Resonant Leadership” focus on the benefits of emotional connection, the authors position the relationship as key to successful coaching which has been proven time and time again in the research.  The resonant coaching leader not only creates resonance with followers but also creates this resonance with self through the process of renewal.  A second team of authors, Kouzes and Posner in “Encouraging the Heart” share this thinking with Boyatzis and McKee.  They contend that effective leader coaches are connected with team members as they demonstrate genuine caring for the team member.  Without this caring, the relationship between the leader and team member may feel more transactional rather than transformational.

The paradox of the leader as coach phenomenon exists in duality in that it is both about the development of self and the development of relationships with others.  Leaders as coaches drive change yet stabilize the team.  They also honor past successes while looking forward to the future.  Finally, leaders as coaches integrate both science and art.  Managing the paradox contributes to its complexity and to the complexity of designing effective leader as coach development programs. 

If you are interested in “sharpening your saw” with regards to coaching and leading skills, contact Dr. Peggy Marshall directly at drpeggy@globalioc.com

Filed Under: Corporate Coaching Blog Tagged With: emotions

Emotional Contagion and Drama

August 30, 2024 by Dr. Peggy Marshall

“Never make a permanent decision based on a temporary emotion.”
–Anonymous

Have you ever heard someone say, “I am so tired of the drama?”  In a recent Global IOC survey about the impact of emotional drama on workplace relationships, respondents were overwhelmingly frustrated by the expression of emotional drama at work.  Emotional drama typically involves a focus on interpersonal relationships, misunderstandings, or conflicts that are blown out of proportion, leading to a charged atmosphere where emotions dominate rational decision-making.  When the individual feelings spill over into the workplace, the result can be emotional contagion which involves drawing others into the situation.  Emotional contagion and drama are concepts that can significantly influence group dynamics, especially within organizations, teams, or social environments.

Emotional contagion can create a feedback loop within groups, where emotions are continually reinforced and amplified. As the receiver begins to experience the emotion being expressed by the sender, the brain receives the feedback, and it may internalize the emotion, making the receiver feel as though they are genuinely experiencing it. This process can happen very quickly, often in a matter of seconds.  At this stage, the receiver might not only feel the emotion but also begin to act in ways consistent with that emotion.  If multiple people are exposed to the same emotional cues, emotional contagion can spread quickly within a group. For example, if one person in a team meeting is anxious, their anxiety can spread, leading others to feel tense or stressed, possibly not even understanding why they are feeling stressed.  This collective emotional experience can influence group dynamics, decision-making, and overall atmosphere.

Interaction Between Emotional Contagion and Drama

In situations of drama, emotional contagion can cause the emotions involved to escalate rapidly. Drama often creates a cycle of negative emotional contagion, where negative emotions continuously feed into the drama, making it more difficult to resolve the underlying issues. This can lead to a pervasive sense of negativity within the group.  Leaders play a crucial role in managing both emotional contagion and drama. A leader who demonstrates emotional intelligence can help to contain negative emotional contagion by addressing the root causes of drama, facilitating open communication, and modeling positive emotional behaviors.

It is important to note that emotional contagion can be both a positive or negative expression.  When someone expresses positive emotions like enthusiasm, joy, or confidence, these feelings can spread throughout the group, boosting morale, increasing motivation, and enhancing overall performance.  Conversely, negative emotions like anger, anxiety, or sadness can also spread. If a leader or influential team member displays these emotions, it can lead to decreased productivity, higher stress levels, and even conflict within the group.  Knowing that individuals and leaders can influence groups through positive emotions provides a pathway for addressing negative emotional contagion. Although some have challenged the three to one rule for a ratio of positive interactions to negative interactions, Barbara Fredrickson’s book “Positivity: Top-Notch Research Reveals the 3-to-1 Ratio That Will Change Your Life" highlights the powerful role that positive emotions play in enhancing our lives.

The Evidence is Clear

James H. Fowler and Nicholas A. Christakis in “Connected: The Surprising Power of Our Social Networks and How They Shape Our Lives" discuss how emotions can spread through social networks. The authors argue that our social connections extend beyond just direct relationships and have a significant impact on our behaviors, thoughts, and even emotions, often in ways we might not fully realize.  They also propose that each person’s influence extends out to three degrees of separation in a social network. This means that your actions and emotions can affect your friends, your friends’ friends, and even their friends. This concept illustrates the far-reaching effects of individual behavior within social networks.  Finally, the book discusses how emotions can spread through social networks, similar to the way infectious diseases spread. For example, happiness, sadness, or stress can ripple through social connections, affecting not just those you interact with directly but also those several degrees removed from you.

A second author, Sigal Barsade, who was a Wharton professor and prolific researcher in the area of emotional contagion found that emotional contagion is a powerful force in group settings within the workplace.  Her work demonstrated that emotions could spread among team members, influencing group cohesion, decision-making, and overall performance. Barsade also examined the "ripple effect" of emotions in the workplace, where the mood of one person can spread to others, much like a ripple on the surface of water. Her studies highlighted that even subtle emotional expressions could significantly impact the work environment. Wharton Ready Livecast Series Emotional Contagion with Sigal Barsade (youtube.com)

One of Barsade’s studies which provided strong empirical evidence of the power of emotional contagion in workplace settings was conducted with colleagues. It involved an experiment in which participants were placed in small groups and exposed to an actor who displayed either positive or negative emotions. The study found that the mood displayed by the actor significantly influenced the mood of the entire group, as well as the group’s performance on a decision-making task.

Finally, the work of Richard Boyatzis over the years contributed significantly to the body of work in emotional contagion.  One of Boyatzis’ key contributions is the concept of “resonant leadership”, which he co-developed with Annie McKee and Daniel Goleman. Resonant leaders are those who are in tune with their own emotions and the emotions of others, creating a positive emotional atmosphere. This concept is closely related to emotional contagion, as resonant leaders are adept at spreading positive emotions throughout their teams and organizations, leading to increased engagement, morale, and productivity.  Boyatzis emphasizes the role of emotional intelligence in managing emotional contagion. Leaders with high emotional intelligence are more aware of their emotional impact on others and can harness emotional contagion to foster a positive and motivating environment. They are also better equipped to mitigate the spread of negative emotions, which can undermine team performance and well-being.

Managing and Reducing Drama in the Workplace

How to best manage and reduce drama in the workplace?  First, address issues directly and encourage open dialogue to prevent misunderstandings from escalating into drama. Next, ensure that communication is clear to help to resolve conflicts before they become emotionally charged.  It is critical to establish clear boundaries around acceptable behavior and communication within the group and hold individuals and teams accountable to those boundaries. Focus on building the emotional intelligence skills of self-awareness, empathy, and the ability to manage one’s emotions effectively.  Find constructive solutions that shift the focus from the emotional aspects of the drama allowing for a blend of logic and rationality.  This can help to defuse the situation and redirect energy towards positive outcomes.  Finally, it is essential that leaders and influential team members model calm, rational behavior in the face of potential drama. By not engaging in or amplifying drama, they can set the tone for the rest of the group.

Emotional drama can be highly disruptive and damaging to both individuals and groups. By understanding its characteristics and impacts, and by employing strategies to manage and reduce drama, it’s possible to create a more harmonious and productive environment.

Filed Under: Corporate Coaching Blog Tagged With: emotions

Emotional Triggers

July 18, 2023 by Dr. Peggy Marshall

“Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space lies our freedom and power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and freedom.” – Viktor E. Frankl

On any given day, you might experience a variety of emotions often which are connected to specific events or people.  When the emotions arouse an intense negative reaction or trigger, we may feel our mood change quickly.  Being able to name the trigger and then educating yourself about the potential reasonable responses to it is the first step navigating unpleasant situations and interactions.

Triggers

David Richo in “Triggers: How We can Stop Reacting and Start Healing” defines a trigger as “any word, person, event or experience that touches off an immediate emotional reaction”.  Emotions being felt run the gamut of a range of emotions which include anger, fear, panic, humiliation and even shame.  The author shares that “trigger” is an appropriate term for what is happening as the “gun” is in the hands of someone else.  The person, situation or thought is actually pulling the trigger.  Our reactions to triggers can last a short moment or lapse into minutes or hours.  The duration is determined by how often we have experienced the trigger and our typical reaction to it.  Reactions are based upon the beliefs, assumptions, projections, and the meaning we assign to the trigger.  For example, a direct report may become angry when not acknowledged as his/her boss moves through the office in the morning.  The interpretation is that “my boss doesn’t care about me”.  A turn-around we use in our coaching curriculum is found in the work of Byron Katie.  It is four sentences “Is it true; is it really true; how do you feel when you think that way; how would you feel if you didn’t think that way?” This reframe can stimulate thinking about other ways to react to what is happening.

Hooks

A second author, Susan David in “Emotional Agility” calls these triggers “hooks”.  She shares that our four biggest hooks are blaming our thoughts for action or inaction, incessant chatter in our heads, old outgrown ideas, and beliefs about ourselves and hanging on too long to believing we are right.   These four hooks circulate through our minds like a movie inside our heads.  The movies can translate into narratives that are fueled by self-defeating thoughts, emotions, and behaviors.  When we experience the same story continually, we start to believe it without questioning ourselves about its truth.  Then when we experience the story in real life, BOOM, the emotions are off to the races.  David believes that emotions making the connection to past experiences can confuse the mind with regards to what is happening in real time.

Emotional Inflammation

Taking a similar approach to triggers, Lise Van Susteren and Stacey Colino in “Emotional Inflammation” share that emotional triggers have commonality in the feelings they bring about with regards to discomfort and a rapid acceleration of emotions.  The challenge becomes that just thinking about a stress event can set off the physiological response we call fight, flight, or freeze. This response can lead to a state of hyperarousal creating health impacts that affect the entire person-physically, mentally, and emotionally- as stress hormones circulate throughout the body.  The authors add that triggers can combine to fuel inflammation without our awareness of what is happening.  Bringing triggers to full conscious awareness allows for a number of positive ways to heal triggers.

Healing Triggers

Susteren and Colina offer strategies that can help in expressing and regulating emotional responses.  First, alter your vocabulary in describing the situation and emotion.  They also invite you to revisit your history by asking a few questions such as:  What just happened? Why am I suddenly feeling what I am feeling? What was I doing or thinking about before I began to feel this way?  Now explore the connection to what has happened in the past.  What are the similarities of experiences and reactions to previous encounters? The authors add that we must be detectives in surfacing what is happening as many individuals tend to hide painful triggers from themselves.

Similarly, Marc Brackett in “Permission to Feel”  guides us to be “emotion scientists”. As the name suggests, we should be willing to experiment and learn everything we can about emotions. Most importantly, this involves being open-minded.  We don’t need to judge whether an emotion is good or bad, right, or wrong, productive, or non-productive. Once we recognize that we are experiencing an emotion, the next step is to understand where it is coming from.  Learning about our emotions can lead to more effective interactions with others and triggering situations, albeit slowly.

This work happens slowly because our brains scan for what’s wrong instead of what’s working due to evolution.  Dr. Rick Hanson: The Neuroscience of Lasting Happiness shares that in the past if we were not vigilant about what could be a danger, the danger could end our lives.  While that is not the case in our present lives, we still tend to examine situations from a negative mindset which can set off emotional triggers.  Once the emotional triggers have been activated the amygdala goes into action to produce the flight, fight, or freeze phenomenon.  None of these three responses take us into successfully navigating emotional situations.  In fact, once the amygdala begins secreting the hormones needed to respond, the thought center of our brain begins to shrink making it difficult to give a rational reaction.  Thus, the work we do to heal takes place over time through focused effort.

90 Second Rule

This blog would be remiss if it did not share Jill Bolte Taylor’s  work in controlling triggers. She believes that the first 90 seconds after an upsetting event are crucial for choosing to engage the trigger or not.  In her videos, she shares that it takes only 90 seconds for the chemical release of stress hormones from the trigger to clear our bodies.  That sounds like a short time for those of you who may feel it for a longer period.  The secret is to examine what you are experiencing and move your thoughts to something else more positive.  If you keep thinking about the experience, your body will keep secreting those hormones and lengthen your experience of those chemicals.

Many of us have triggers that pull us out of our comfort zones. They cause us to feel strong emotions and before we know it we are reacting to the triggers. Being able to anticipate our emotions allows us to express and regulate them more effectively.  Developing emotional agility including the ability to recognize, understand, label, express and regulate negative emotional patterns results in strengthening our emotional intelligence muscle and creates more successful relationships with self and others.

Filed Under: Corporate Coaching Blog Tagged With: coaching, emotions, growth, triggers

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