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The Power of Curiosity and Connection in Coaching

December 4, 2024 by Dr. Peggy Marshall

By Kelly McGrath, CMO, American Endowment Foundation

In my nearly three decades of experience working with diverse teams, I’ve witnessed firsthand how coaching has evolved into an invaluable tool for personal and professional growth. As our world becomes increasingly complex and fast-paced, the ability to adapt, collaborate, and innovate is crucial. Coaches play a vital role in empowering team members to navigate these challenges, set meaningful goals, and unlock their collective potential. At the heart of effective coaching are two essential principles: curiosity and connection. When coaches embrace these qualities, they foster a transformative environment that encourages exploration and builds meaningful relationships.

The Role of Curiosity in Coaching

Curiosity has always been a driving force in my interactions with teams. It acts as a catalyst for discovery and learning, fostering an environment where team members feel encouraged to share their thoughts, feelings, and experiences openly. Here are several effective strategies to harness curiosity:

Fostering Exploration

Over the years, I’ve learned that asking open-ended questions can transform a coaching session. For instance, rather than jumping to solutions, I’ve found that inviting team members to explore their thoughts deeply leads to richer discussions. This exploration often clarifies their goals and unveils underlying motivations, which is invaluable for effective teamwork.

Creating a Safe Space

Curiosity naturally cultivates an atmosphere of safety and trust. In my experience, when team members sense that their coach is genuinely interested in their stories, they are more likely to show up authentically. This connection enriches the coaching experience, allowing individuals to feel supported and understood, which is essential for meaningful growth.

Encouraging a Growth Mindset

One of the most rewarding aspects of coaching has been witnessing team members embrace a growth mindset. When curiosity leads individuals to view challenges as opportunities, they become more willing to take risks and adapt. I’ve seen firsthand how a culture of curiosity can empower teams to navigate change more effectively.

Challenging Assumptions

Many team members arrive at coaching with preconceived notions about their abilities and the dynamics at play. I’ve found that gently challenging these assumptions through probing questions can broaden their perspectives and empower them to break free from self-imposed constraints.

The Importance of Connection

While curiosity opens the door to exploration, connection lays the foundation for a successful coaching relationship. After years of working with teams, I understand that connection encompasses trust, empathy, and mutual respect. Here’s how to build that connection:

Building Trust

In my experience, trust is paramount in any coaching relationship. Team members need to feel confident that their coach has their best interests at heart. By actively listening and demonstrating empathy, I’ve cultivated this trust, which allows team members to be vulnerable and share their challenges, leading to more impactful coaching outcomes.

Active Listening

I’ve learned that connection deepens through active listening. Coaches who truly engage with their team members not only hear their words but also grasp the emotions and nuances behind them. This level of engagement fosters a sense of value, encouraging team members to fully participate in the coaching process.

Empathy and Understanding

An empathetic approach has been crucial in my coaching practice. Striving to see the world through the eyes of each team member has enriched my understanding of their experiences and emotions. This connection strengthens the bond, enabling team members to feel understood and more willing to embrace change.

Shared Goals and Values

Establishing a connection also means aligning on goals and values. Throughout my career, I’ve worked with teams to define what success looks like collectively. When everyone is on the same page, it fosters a sense of partnership, enhancing motivation and accountability throughout the coaching journey.

Integrating Curiosity and Connection in Coaching Practice

To leverage the combined power of curiosity and connection, I’ve adopted several practical strategies to better equip me to lead and understand more effectively. Here are some of those strategies:

Cultivate Self-Awareness

Regularly reflecting on my own biases and emotional states has allowed me to approach coaching with a more open and curious mindset. This self-awareness enhances my interactions with team members.

Use Powerful Questions

Crafting thoughtful, open-ended questions has become a hallmark of my coaching style. Instead of asking, “What do you want to achieve?” I might inquire, “What excites you about this goal, and what fears do you have surrounding it?” This encourages deeper reflection.

Practice Mindfulness

Mindfulness techniques have improved my ability to be present during coaching sessions. By being fully engaged, I foster both curiosity and connection, allowing for more meaningful interactions.

Create a Supportive Environment

I strive to create a safe, supportive space where team members feel comfortable expressing themselves. Setting ground rules for confidentiality and encouraging honesty has proven effective in nurturing trust.

Embrace Vulnerability

Modeling vulnerability by sharing my own experiences has been transformative. This openness encourages team members to share their struggles, further strengthening our connection.

Curiosity and connection are not just complementary elements of effective coaching; they are essential ingredients for transformative change. By fostering a culture of curiosity, coaches can encourage team members to explore their potential and embrace growth. At the same time, strong connections build trust and create a supportive environment where individuals feel empowered to take risks. Together, curiosity and connection can lead to profound personal and professional development, a journey I’ve been privileged to witness throughout my career.

 

Filed Under: Corporate Coaching Blog Tagged With: coaching, connection, curiosity, exploration

Motivation Through Three Lenses: Self, Direct Reports, and Teams

March 1, 2021 by Dr. Peggy Marshall

motivational quote

Motivation Through Three Lenses: Self, Direct Reports, and Teams – by Dr. Peggy Marshall

Motivation is one of the most talked about phenomena and possibly the least understood.  It becomes even more complicated when viewed through the lenses of self, direct reports, and teams.  Some of the motivators are the same for all three and yet some are very different.  First, let us start by defining motivation.  For about the past 50 years, Deci and Ryan have been the definers of motivation through the lens of Self Determination Theory which focused on the levers of intrinsic and extrinsic motivation.  A simplification of the distinction between intrinsic and extrinsic motivation comes from Gagne and Deci (2005) as they positioned intrinsic motivation as autonomous motivation and extrinsic motivation as controlled motivation.  Those two words are extremely significant as we move forward with this article on motivation as choice becomes center stage when we are working with ourselves and others on motivation.

No discussion of motivation would be complete without addressing the process of change along with the “why” for the change.  Norcross in “Changeology” shares that we need to be “psyched up” about the change to pursue it.  Many authors agree with his thinking with regards to the need for emotional alignment with the new behavior as we need to want to make it happen for it to happen.  Sinek in “Start with Why” Simon Sinek shares that we need a strong “why” to begin the process of change.  Think about New Years resolutions, most of which have been forgotten by now, maybe even yours.  Many individuals in setting a New Years resolution start with “what” they are going to do.  If their “what” is not aligned with a strong “why”, it will make the process more difficult, potentially frustrating and lead to giving up.

Kotler in “The Art of the Impossible” believes that motivation is a “catch-all for three subsets of skills: drive, grit and goals.”  Drive leads with curiosity, passion and purpose which can automate the desired new behaviors.  Pink in his book “Drive,”  connects autonomy, mastery, and purpose to the key motivators of new behaviors.  Both authors are consistent with their thinking in that it is purpose that creates momentum for motivation.  Purpose becomes the forward pointing arrow that sparks us when we feel like giving up.  Loehr and Schwartz in “The Power of Full Engagement”  share that purpose is “the most powerful source of our motivation, perseverance and direction” which serves to maximize our energy when aligned with what matters most to us.

In determining purpose, individuals often start with values to understand what matters most.  Although our values may change slightly throughout our lifetime, many stay consistent over time.  Stulberg and Magness in “Peak Performance: Elevate Your Game, Avoid Burnout, and Thrive with the New Science of Success” The Growth Equation | Art and Science of Success | Brad Stulberg & Steve Magness share that self-transcending purposes aligned with what is valued most is the best way to create motivation and is also important when motivation wanes.  Kotler shares this belief calling it the “massively transformative purpose”.  Focusing on the self-transcending purpose that provides the individual with a perspective of changing something bigger than self can also lead to increased performance.

Often our clients may have difficulty in determining which values are most important to them.  The Values Center has on on-line personal values assessment that provides a report which is useful for coaching.  An interesting component of the assessment is that it groups responses into categories of self-interest, transformation, and common good.  For those clients wanting to explore more transformative and common good values, the report also provides opportunities for reflection and next steps.

Once the values are clear, clients can use the Intended Change Theory process to align the ideal and real selves in a behavior change process.  In this step, clients visualize a desired future state and infuse it with the belief that it is possible to achieve the state.  A discussion of strengths that will be needed to create the desired future leads to clarity and helps to build motivation toward the desired change.  The client “gets real” by determining which values identified earlier will support the necessary changes and then determines where real self and ideal self are not aligned which can impact motivation for change.

When motivating self, individuals, and teams progress matters;  Amabile and Kramer in “The Progress Principle” share that making progress is central to motivation and success.  They share four ingredients to progress that include small wins, breakthroughs, forward movement, and goal completion.  Note goal completion is not the only ingredient, identifying the steps along the way keeps clients focused and motivated. As with any behavior change process measurement and tracking is also important to staying motivated.  Most habit researchers emphasize that without tracking individuals and teams do not have evidence of how far they have come nor do they have insights on how far the goal remains.

Although the focus of this article has been mostly on individuals, the concepts also apply to direct reports and teams with the difference being the relationship.  When coaching direct reports on motivation, it is important to recognize that what motivates your direct may not be what motivates you as the leader.  That is where the values tool can be so effective.  Recognizing what drives the direct report can make the difference between average and top performance.

Finally, from a team perspective, Kotler shares what contributes to team flow.  These attributes include shared goals, shared risk, listening, strong communication, blending egos, equal participation, familiarity, and sense of control.  I would add understanding the values of team members will help with each one of these attributes as it creates an understanding of the earlier discussion of curiosity, passion, purpose, autonomy, and mastery.  It is through understanding one another that relationships deepen and create more motivated teams.

If you found this article interesting and want to learn more about the topic, Global IOC will be hosting a Wednesday Webinar Zoom call on March 10th at 10 AM EST on the topic of Motivation through Three Lenses: Self, Direct Reports, and Teams.

 

Gagne, M. & Deci, E. (2005) Self-determination theory and work motivation. Journal of Organizational Behavior, 26, 331–362.

 

Filed Under: Corporate Coaching Blog Tagged With: behaviors, change, curiosity, drive, Global IOC, life on purpose, motivation, passion, purpose, whats your why

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