“The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way.”
-Marcus Aurelius
At some point in our lives most of us find ourselves stuck. Being stuck is an extremely frustrating reality as we feel we have no course of action and yet we want to take action. Ryan Holiday in “The Obstacle is the Way” shares that in times when we are feeling stuck we experience not only frustration but fear, confusion, helplessness, anger, powerlessness and sometimes even depression. Often, we end up blaming others for our situation, our loved ones, our colleagues, and others so that we don’t have to face the challenge of getting unstuck. If you feel stuck, are you able to dig deep inside of you to uncover the cause of being stuck?
Comfort Matters
When being stuck is accepted for months and or even years we can unfortunately become comfortable with being stuck and not even realize that we are capable of so much more. Gay Hendricks in “The Big Leap” shares that we live in zones and many of us live in the Zone of Excellence in which we accomplish much and do extremely well yet something is calling us to be more. The author believes that the zone of excellence is seductive and can even become a dangerous trap. People function in a reliable way in this zone and due to this reliability family, friends and even our organizations may encourage us to stay in place which could lead to the blame discussed earlier. We feel like we are being held back. Hendricks believes that liberating and expressing your natural genius is the ultimate path to success and life satisfaction. In this zone, individuals listen to the inner call in order to become all that they are capable of becoming and move into the Zone of Genius.
Fear Holds Us Back
One of the biggest things that stops us from moving forward is fear. In “Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway” by Susan Jeffers, she encourages us to move into the fears that are holding us back. Susan lists five truths about fears that are relative to moving beyond fear however this blog focuses on the fifth truth - “Pushing through fear is less frightening than living with the bigger underlying fear that comes from a feeling of helplessness!” Think about that statement. When you feel like you need to do something and yet you do nothing, it continues to wear at you and occupy space in your mind. I have yet to experience a client who did not feel a sense of relief when finally taking that action step. And…it doesn’t have to be a big step….just a step.
Space for Moving Forward
Next determine what you have to let go of. Hugh Prather in “The Little Book of Letting Go” suggests that we have to let go of mental pollutants. The author shares that we need to cleanse our minds of the thoughts that sour our attitudes, block our intuition, tear apart our relationships and undermine the aims and purposes of our lives. You just took your first baby step in moving though your fears, what mental pollutants will get into your way if you do not address them? We all have stories about our past, present, and future and it is through examination of those stories that we can continue to make progress or move backwards into what we tell ourselves is comfort. Exchange your mental pollutants with messages of courage and confidence as you embrace those baby steps.
Build and Strengthen Habits
Finally, what habits are taking you away from the best version of you and keeping you stuck? Often we do things repetitively without even realizing it. Think about the habits you do daily. Which of those habits continue to reinforce being stuck? Marshall Goldsmith in “What Got You Here, Will Not Get You There” shares that the best indicator of what you will be doing tomorrow is what you are doing today. Build an inventory of questions that will help you identify patterns of behaviors that keep you stuck. How do you spend your limited free time? Do you spend it investing in being the best version of you or do you repeat the patterns that keep you stuck? Keeping a journal is a great way to find out how you are spending your time. Once you know what you are doing, you can continue those baby steps in getting unstuck.
The most important aspect of getting unstuck is to recognize that you are stuck. It might only be a whisper calling you to something more, yet there can be amazing insights when you listen to that whisper. Hopefully, once you have that recognition you can use the tools discussed in this blog to make forward movement.
For an in depth conversation about getting unstuck, join us for our monthly webinar - "Getting Unstuck - The Messy Middle" - Webinar via Zoom - May 24, 2023 - 11 am EST