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Making Sense of Meaning Making

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Meaning making refers to the process by which individuals construct or derive meaning from their experiences, interactions, and the world around them.  An important word here is constructs.  Individuals construct meaning based upon their own global meaning of the world which includes beliefs, goals, and subjective feelings.  Global meaning is also referred to as a personal operating system that guides the interpretation of experiences and motivations and is constructed early in life.  An important point is that individuals do not construct meaning in the same way as individuals do not always share beliefs about the world, self, and self in the world.  Meaning making is context-dependent which suggests that the same event or experience can hold different meanings for different individuals.

Global meaning is thought to powerfully influence the emotions, actions and thoughts of individuals. When events, situations or relationships conflict with global meaning, individuals assign meaning to these experiences often referred to as situational meaning.  The discrepancy between the global meaning and the situational meaning based upon the appraisal of the individual will determine the amount of distress experienced by the individual.  Factors influencing the appraisal include but are not limited to the perception of threat, controllability, why the event occurred and the impact on the individual’s future.

The best place for intervention is during the appraisal process.  Byron Katie in “Loving What Is” shares a four-step turn around that would help an individual process a discrepancy between global meaning and situational appraisal.  First, the statement “Is it true?”, followed by “Is it really true?”.  These two sentences require an individual to test the meaning being made of an event.  The third statement asks the individual to evaluate the meaning of the experiences through questioning about the feelings that arise.  “How do you feel when you think that way?”  Evaluation of feelings now gives the individual a choice.  Katie’s last statement challenges the individual to change how thoughts impact feelings by asking “How would you feel if you didn’t think that way?”  This question requires the individual to dig deep into choices about thoughts and the meaning making process.  Victor Frankl shares “Between stimulus and response there is space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”  When we understand the power we have to choose a response to an appraisal of a situation or event, we exercise our power to successfully navigate the current situation or event and build strength for responses in future situations.

Other authors offer similar suggestions about the impact of thoughts and beliefs on the appraisal process for meaning making.  Edith Eger in “The Gift” shares that our thoughts and beliefs determine and frequently limit how we feel, what we do and what we think is possible.  Being able to notice what our thoughts and beliefs are telling us can guide the appraisal process.  Steven Hayes in “A Liberated Mind” shares that we need to shift from a focus on what we are thinking and feeling to focusing on how we relate to what we think and feel.  Like Eger and Katie, placing emphasis is on learning to step back from what you are thinking, notice it, and open up to what you are observing about the experience without judging. Hayes suggests that efforts to avoid or control our thoughts or feelings are ineffective.  Rather, he proposes that we need to focus our energies on taking positive actions that can alleviate our distress.

Marc Brackett in “Permission to Feel” offers strategies for evaluation of emotions that arise during the appraisal process using the RULER technique. The RULER technique represents five skills of emotion management: recognize (self-awareness), understand (what is behind the emotion and where it is coming from), label (name it correctly), express (in a manner that takes us where we want to go) and finally regulate the emotion (in a helpful way).  The last skill, regulation, requires us to be more consistent with strategies for appraising the situation or event in a manner that reduces distress.

We must remember that thoughts, along with words emerging from those thoughts matter as we appraise situations and events.  Susan David in “Emotional Agility” shares four common hooks that unsettle our ability to agilely respond to what is happening in our lives.  The first is “monkey-mindedness”.  Think about how monkeys can swing from tree to tree without a thought about what’s happening or where they are going.  When an individual’s monkey-mindedness is negative, the appraisal process can continue to add fuel to the fire of the negative thinking building with each thought.  The mind quickly moves from past grievances to assumptions of the future without checking for evidence.

David adds three other aspects that impact our thinking and thus how we make meaning which are thought blaming, old, outdated ideas and beliefs and the need to be right.  Thought blaming occurs when we blame what we think for causing behavior.  It sounds something like “I thought he/she should finish the project before we talked so I didn’t ask any questions”.  When we don’t check in with our thoughts, they may cause us to make meaning without validation of the thoughts.  This also occurs with old, outdated beliefs and the need to be right.  We need to be able to reflect upon our actions to determine if they are a fit for the situation rather than simply following our past thinking.

The good news is that meaning making can evolve over time, especially as individuals grow, learn, and have new experiences.  Their understanding of meaning being made may change or even deepen.  Meizerow names this transformational learning.  He believed that as individuals encounter “disorienting dilemmas”, they would need to apply critical thinking about the underlying beliefs and assumptions about situations to determine accuracy.  That is the process that individuals need to undertake to decrease the gap between the global meaning and situational meaning of a given event.

Ethan Kross, in “Chatter” adds that humans developed an inner voice for the purpose of evaluating their past and to prepare for the future.  These inner voices facilitate introspection and reflection allowing us the opportunity to analyze past behaviors and grow from any mistakes while at the same time anticipating when a behavior or event can create a challenge.  Kross shares that being able to distance yourself from your thoughts can help to turn down the chatter and give the space to make a more accurate appraisal.  Knowing what works for you whether it’s going for a walk or a drive, listening to music or deep breathing exercise may help you reframe the experience and gain perspective.

When you are coaching, it is important to remember that clients do not make meaning in the same manner that you do.  Taking the time to surface beliefs, attitudes and emotions related to meaning being made can help to alleviate distress and move the coaching process positively into actions aligned with client goals.

Space on Your Plate

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“Was it hard?” I ask. Letting go?”…

Not as hard as holding on to something that wasn’t real.”

~ Lisa Schroeder

I ask clients to visualize their commitments in terms of space on the plate.  Given we are just a few days away from Thanksgiving, I continue with the analogy of our Thanksgiving plates. When I look around at our table, there is very little on the plates for anything more!  And yet, we often have the same experience in our lives.  We try to add without thinking about what we need to let go of!  In making space for change we sometimes neglect the power of letting go.  Letting go of the person we used to be, along with the habits associated with our daily routines.  It involves spending time getting to know yourself better, understanding what drives you and listening to the nudges guiding you to let go of who you thought you should be and become who you want to be.

What do you need to let go of to chart a course for your dreams in 2024?

Update Your Thinking

“I am no bird; and no net ensnares me: I am a free human being with an independent will.”
― Charlotte Brontë, Jane Eyre

Sometimes we have to chart a different course and move away from others’ thinking to making our dreams a reality which requires thinking for oneself.  Seems simple but how often do you really think for yourself?  Do you use others to validate your thinking? Nancy Kline in “Time to Think” shares that thinking for ourselves is a radical act and definitely not a popular activity.  She adds that many institutions and organizations thwart our attempts to think for ourselves.  Our early development of thinking for ourselves is often obstructed by our parents, siblings, teachers, peers and later on by our close relationships and sometimes by the organizations we work within.  Going against what others think can result in major losses in our young minds and create an environment that going along with others becomes the path of least resistance.

Curiosity also helps us think differently.  Chip Conley in “Emotional Equations” challenges us to be curious about our thoughts as he considers curiosity to be an activity without an intended outcome as well as a process for fertilizing the mind.  Curiosity opens us to learning as we reflect upon our own lives.  When we allow ourselves to let go of being right and become curious, we begin to think differently about ourselves and the changes we are considering making. Once we have created a process for ourselves which allows reflection and then critical thinking to emerge, we can begin to align our dreams and passions with the direction of change.

Gaining Clarity

“Many people think they lack motivation when what they really lack is clarity.”
— James Clear    

Many clients find that one of the biggest challenges in making space for change is getting clear about the change they would like to make.  Sometimes there is an inner knowing drawing us towards change yet is obscured by what we are currently doing resulting in confusion.  We may be pulled in so many directions that we often lose sight of our north star while embracing the comfort that stability and certainty bring to us without realizing that impermanence is very real.  The path of least resistance for many of us is to continue along the path of apparent certainty while ignoring the whispers and nudges arising from our passions.

Shawn Achor in “Before Happiness” suggests that clarity arises when we evaluate multiple points of views and then choose the most advantageous view.  In our coaching program, we also use the work of Chip and Dan Heath on decision making which is shared in their book “Decisive”.  What these three authors are sharing is that many times we only explore either/or options for clarity.  When we are looking at only two options we are often biased towards one of the options and disregard the other.  However, when we explore multiple views before making a decision, we go deep enough to truly evaluate the best direction for change.

Greg McKeown, in “Essentialism” also provides us with a framework for clarity.  When we focus on discerning between what is essential and what is non-essential, we ask ourselves which problem we want recognizing that choice requires letting go of something.  Focusing on what’s essential also encourages us to say no to things we really don’t want to do.  We find boundaries as empowering because they allow us to pursue what matters most to us as we align our behaviors with the intended change.

Taking Action

Everything big starts little.
            -Author Unknown

All change efforts require a plan.  The purpose of an effective plan is to clarify and focus behaviors on highest priority initiatives and action steps.  This plan becomes your road map to success.  Imagine driving without a GPS-it takes much longer and sometimes we find that we have lost our way.  Therefore, we need a plan prior to engaging in our goals.  Resistance to planning is fueled by our drive to begin immediately on the goal hoping to create instant outcomes.  One of the quickest ways to derail change efforts is to not have a plan for how one will reach success.  It is only when we give structure to our goals by planning the steps to accomplish them do we increase the opportunities for success.

Next, when changing any behavior, we have to be absolutely committed to changing it.  When I think about committing to change, I think about setting aside the time and investing in the plan we have established.  There are numerous applications for investing time in change from David Allen’s “Getting Things Done”  to Moran and Lennington’s “12 Week Year”.  There is also an abundance of writing on building good habits which I believe strengthens our ability to stay committed. Finally, choosing a framework for capturing our behavior is essential to staying committed whether it be a journal or a formal process.

After the plan and commitment to change, managing the goals becomes the final step of action. Several authors have supported the concept of breaking goals down into manageable parts.  Jack Canfield in “The Success Principles” advises us to break down our goals in order to avoid being overwhelmed by the expected outcomes.  Milestones will provide the needed forward movement and focus to keep going in the direction of the intended change.  David Allen refers to this process as going from the ‘Big Picture” to the nitty-gritty.  In getting to the nitty-gritty, we focus on behaviors and tools that allow us to accomplish tasks at the level that work really happens.  If these two resources are not enough to convince you of the need to break your goals down, just search the internet on the topic-there are at least three pages of references on how to break your goals down!

How can you use the concepts shared in this blog to create a banner year next year for yourself?  What tools and resources can you begin to pull together so that you can have a fabulous start to 2024?   Global IOC has numerous resources and faculty that can help with the process of change.  We will also be offering webinars, newsletters and thought leadership articles to support you as you reach for the your dreams!  If you have questions, please do not hesitate to reach out!

Waiting Patiently

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“Patience is not passive waiting.  Patience is the active acceptance of the process required to attain your goals and dreams.”
-Ray Davis

Last week I was talking with a corporate client about being patient with direct reports who were in the process of skill building.  It does require us to remember that those who are on the skills building trajectory are not where we are from a development and experience perspective, and we must manage expectations accordingly.  That session was followed by an Advanced class in which the topic of discussion was developing others from a skill/will perspective.  We had a lively discussion about working with individuals on this continuum and ended with the understanding that patience is required no matter what quadrant the direct report was in. The depth of thinking on this topic brought the group back to how important developing patience with self and others is to growth and development.

Defining Patience

Patience is a virtue often defined as the ability to endure waiting, delay, or provocation without becoming annoyed or upset. It involves maintaining composure and a positive attitude in the face of challenges, difficulties, or situations that require time and perseverance. Patience is valuable in various aspects of life, including relationships, work, and personal development. Cultivating patience can lead to better decision-making, improved problem-solving, and increased resilience. It allows individuals to navigate through setbacks and obstacles with a calm and collected mindset. Practicing patience is a skill that can be developed over time, and it often contributes to long-term success and well-being.

Patience and delay of gratification

In a fast-paced world, where instant gratification is often emphasized, the ability to exercise patience can be particularly beneficial. It's important to recognize that different situations may require different levels of patience, and finding a balance is key to maintaining a healthy and productive approach to challenges.  Walter Mischel, best known for his work on delayed gratification, conducted the famous Stanford marshmallow experiment. His research highlighted the ability to delay immediate rewards for greater future gains, emphasizing the importance of self-control and patience.  Although the study was conducted with four-year-olds, it begs the question of whether we can wait and how we wait for what we want as adults.

As referenced above, a major component of patience is the ability to delay gratification.  Delay of gratification is a psychological concept that refers to the ability to resist the temptation of an immediate reward in preference for a larger or more significant reward that will come at a later time. This concept is often associated with self-discipline, impulse control, and the capacity to make decisions that prioritize long-term goals over short-term desires.  Understanding and cultivating the ability to delay gratification is considered crucial for various aspects of personal development, success, and well-being. It plays a role in areas such as academic achievement, career success, financial management, and maintaining healthy relationships. Strategies for improving delay of gratification often involve developing self-awareness, setting clear goals, and practicing mindfulness to manage impulses effectively.

Benefits of Developing Patience

Several well-known authors have included the importance of developing patience in their work.  Angela Duckworth in “Grit” shares that the role of perseverance and passion for long-term goals is related to patience as patience, combined with passion, is a key factor in achieving success. Martin Seligman, a pioneer in positive psychology, discusses the concept of time perspective, which includes the ability to balance present and future concerns. Developing a balanced time perspective involves cultivating patience for delayed rewards.  Seligman shares that when we slow down, we create an opportunity for our executive function to do more effective planning, refining, and revisions to options. Finally, Roy F. Baumeister, a social psychologist known for his research on self-regulation, builds upon the concept of ego depletion, suggesting that self-control is a finite resource and that we have to be efficient in the use of willpower to change behaviors. Understanding how patience interacts with self-control is crucial for changing behavior over time.

What to Do While Waiting

Whether it’s waiting for our own performance to grow or hit our goals or waiting for the performance of others, there are things we can do while we are patiently waiting.

Focus on the present. Instead of constantly thinking about the future or the outcome you're waiting for, try to stay present in the current moment. Engage in activities that bring you joy or help pass the time.  Mindfulness techniques, such as deep breathing or meditation, can help you stay grounded and focused on the present moment. These practices can be particularly useful in reducing stress and anxiety associated with waiting. Williams and Penman in “Mindfulness: An Eight Week Plan for Finding Peace in a Frantic World” share that moving from a “doing” space into a “being” space can help us be more present in the moment and also allow us to make more conscious choices.

Set realistic expectations. Understand that some things are beyond your control, and setting unrealistic expectations can lead to frustration. Accept that certain processes take time and be prepared for delays or unforeseen circumstances.  A great exercise can be found in “The Genius Zone” by Gay Hendricks.  He suggests that you draw a line down the center of a sheet of paper.  On one side in green ink, list the things you have control over.  On the other side, list in red those things you have no control over.  When you find your mind moving toward things you cannot control, move it back to those that you can control.

Find productive activities. Use the waiting time to engage in activities that contribute to your personal or professional growth. This could include learning a new skill, reading, exercising, or pursuing hobbies.  David Allen, a productivity consultant shares in “Getting Things Done” - Getting Things Done® - David Allen's GTD® Methodology helps individuals organize their tasks and achieve a state of "mind like water" – a calm and focused mental state. What could be better than a productive and calm mental state while you wait?

Create a positive mindset. Instead of dwelling on impatience or frustration, try to reframe your thoughts in a more positive light. Consider the waiting period as an opportunity for personal reflection or as a necessary step in a larger process.  Shawn Achor in “The Happiness Advantage” suggests that when we find ourselves creating noise in our mind, we have the option of bringing our thinking back to realistic self-talk about the situation.  It’s about accepting what is happening while remembering we have the ability to create a view that opens us to more interpretations and possibilities.  Remember acceptance is not agreement, rather it is the understanding that we cannot change what is happening and refocusing on what can be changed.

Seek support. Share your feelings with friends, family, or colleagues who may understand your situation. Sometimes, talking about your experience can provide emotional support and a different perspective.  Wagnild,  in numerous studies shares that supportive friends and families along with collaborative relationships at work can enhance resilience.  Using your support team to discuss the challenges faced while waiting can help us understand that we are not alone in our struggles.

Finally, set short-term goals. Break down the waiting period into smaller, manageable goals and time frames. Achieving these smaller milestones can give you a sense of accomplishment and help the time pass more quickly.  Monitoring daily progress towards goals can move your focus to your successes and away from thinking about waiting.

Remember that patience is a skill that can be developed over time. While waiting patiently may not always be easy, it can contribute to your overall well-being and resilience in the face of uncertainty.

Development 2024

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Development 2024

As we close the 2023 year, you may have a development budget that was not completely used during the year.  Why not use some of those resources to enhance, develop or fine tune your coaching skills?

Global IOC has found that coaching continues to be increasingly relevant to the success of businesses.  It is a key leadership competency; with leaders at all levels who develop coaching skills driving higher levels of performance and revenue.  Adding a coaching designation to the skills you already possess can open up new career opportunities for you both in the present and in the future.

Importance of Developmental Coaching to Organizations

Developing employees is a critical aspect of organizational success and involves providing them with the necessary skills, knowledge, and opportunities to grow both personally and professionally. In most organizations coaches support the development of employees by providing coaching to address specific skill gaps and foster professional development; working with employees to create individual development plans; discussing goals, aspirations, and the steps needed to achieve them. Additional opportunities for development include assigning projects that stretch employees' abilities and challenge them to learn new skills; promoting a culture of continuous learning within the organization and creating cross-functional teams to expose employees to different aspects of the business.

Connecting Coaching and Development

A range of factors has contributed to the interest in developing business coaching capabilities. They include a VUCA (Volatile, Uncertain, Complex, and Ambiguous) world, the financial cost of not retaining employees, support for organizational change initiatives and support for development of employees. Coaching, with its emphasis on just-in-time, flexible, customized learning, is seen as a welcome contribution to an individual’s development portfolio.

The convergence of organizational needs along with talent requirements presents a unique opportunity for business coaches.   Coaches and leaders who can demonstrate the value of coaching while delivering upon attraction, development, and retention of key talent, high levels of engagement and performance and reinforcement of learning are in high demand.

Pathways to Becoming a Coach at Global IOC

Global IOC offers four pathways to developing, enhancing, and tweaking coaching skills.  First, a foundational skill building class to introduce essential coaching skills.  This program is for new leaders or for individuals who are on track to become leaders.  Next, progressive skill building which integrates the core skills with new knowledge and coaching best practices.  This program leads to the designation of Registered Business Coach.  For those who have learned the core requirements from another group or in a variety of trainings, there is an assessment only track to gain the designation.  The third pathway is to enhance your coaching through added tools and resources that allow you to continue to build capacities as you coach in increasingly complex and challenging situations within a business context at an advanced level.  The Advanced program leads to a Registered Senior Business Coach designation.   Both the core and advanced programs have an assessment only component which provides the candidate with an opportunity to capture prior learning and practices and attain the designation for that level.  The fourth pathway is the master level.  This level focuses on a deep and full exploration of current approaches to coaching, methodologies and theories underpinning business coaching along with alignment of past work and life experiences with a deepening understanding of coaching mastery.

The proprietary curriculum developed by faculty at Global IOC is an evidence-based model which focuses on application and integration of knowledge gained.  The program structure of all programs is a blend of virtual highly interactive sessions along with self-paced independent learning.  One to one oversights with master certified faculty deepen and enhance the coaching practice.

Bring Coaching to Your Organization

After a candidate has met the requirements for the Registered Senior Business Coach designation, he or she is eligible to become faculty with Global IOC and deliver the Essentials or Core program to his/her organization.   Attendance at a curriculum immersion session is mandatory.  Candidates will then determine the amount of support needed to deliver the program to the candidate’s organization.  Observation of initial facilitation of the program is required along with submission of attendee logs and annual reports.  A bonus of the internal coaching program is that the curriculum of the Global IOC program content can be modified to meet the needs of the organization.  When the Core program is offered within an organization, participants are eligible to receive the Registered Business Coach designation.

Employee development is an ongoing process that requires a commitment from both the organization and its employees. Regularly assessing the effectiveness of your coaching and development programs and adjusting them based on feedback and changing organizational need leads to a competitive advantage.

If you or your organization have unused development dollars, Global IOC has a number of Business Coaching Programs to enhance and tweak your coaching skills and capabilities.  For more information on Global IOC coaching programs, please go to www.globalioc.com

Reflection and Celebration

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One of my favorite December songs is “Happy Xmas” by John Lennon and Yoko Ono.  The lyrics start with

“So this is Christmas
And what have you done
Another year over
And a new one just begun”

Every year when I hear this song, I taught myself to reflect on what “I had accomplished and whether I accomplished the most important things in terms of what I set out to do.  There is not a better time for reflection then at the end of something and the beginning of the new.  I know you might be thinking that there just isn’t time for reflection.  However, if time is not set aside for time reflection there is a risk of moving into 2024 without a solid evaluation of what’s working and what is not.  Reflection is a valuable practice that involves thoughtful consideration and contemplation about one’s experiences, actions, or beliefs. It plays a crucial role in personal and professional development, helping individuals gain insights, learn from their experiences, and make informed decisions.

Reflection is an important component of how adults learn.  We learn not only from our experiences but also from the interpretations and reinterpretations of those experiences.  When we pause and reflect upon circumstances and then apply a different framework to circumstances new ways of acting and thinking are created.  Using the process of reflection and introspection on an on-going basis leads to increased levels of awareness, insight, and self-acceptance.  Many times these moments of reflection can result in epiphanies from which new thoughts and behaviors can be chosen. Bob Rotella in “How Champions Think” adds that champions self-evaluate and reflect after setting their own standards and do not simply wait for others to provide evaluations in order to move forward into success.

What is your process for reflection and self-evaluation?  If you really haven’t given it much thought in the past, a few ideas for reflection are included in this blog.

Personal Growth: Reflection provides pathways for personal growth.  Dr. Richard Boyatzis shares in his intended change theory that it begins by identifying our ideal self and then comparing that self to our real self.  Our ideal self contains our dreams, aspirations, and direction for these inspirations.  When we let ourselves go in the direction of our dreams, amazing things can show up in our lives.

Identifying Strengths and Weaknesses: By reflecting on your experiences, you can identify both your strengths and areas where you can improve. This self-assessment is essential for setting realistic goals and working towards continuous improvement. Again from Dr. Boyatzis, this exercise is meant to be realistic about what will assist us in reaching the ideal state while removing challenges to activities that will take us there.  To identify both strengths and weaknesses of a given action, Chip and Dan Heath in “Decisive” suggest that we conduct pre-parade/post-mortem.  The questions we can ask ourselves or our team are “What will make us wildly successful if we pursue this path?  Conversely what might cause us to fall short of the goal?”  In assessing both the opportunity and challenge we surface what we need to focus on for success.

Learning from Mistakes: Reflection provides an opportunity to analyze mistakes or failures without judgment. It enables you to understand what went wrong, why it happened, and how you can avoid similar situations in the future.  Many people struggle with the term “mistake” because too many use the term to beat up on themselves.  Amy Edmundson shares that many times we are embarrassed by our failures which leads to us also focusing negatively on ourselves.  What if we could accept that what we were attempting to accomplish didn’t happen the way we wanted it to and we adjust our sails?

Critical Thinking:  Reflection encourages critical thinking by prompting you to analyze situations, consider different perspectives, and evaluate the consequences of your actions.  Shane Parrish in “Clear Thinking” encourages us to reflect upon all options and not simply door number one or two.  We tend to be biased when we only surface two options for moving forward.  Something you can integrate into reflection for 2024.

Dr. James W. Pennebaker is a researcher who has written extensively on journaling. His work has significantly contributed to the understanding of how journaling and expressive writing can benefit individuals’ mental and emotional well-being.  Mindfulness, feedback from others and structured reflection are other ways that we can use reflection as a tool for growth in 2024.

This blog cannot end without a reminder that the end of the year also brings us to a time for celebration.  Celebrating success is a crucial and enjoyable part of achieving your goals. It not only acknowledges your hard work but also provides motivation for future endeavors. How do you celebrate your success?  In a recent meeting with leaders within an organization I work with, leaders were asked how they celebrate.  Many did not have a response.  When we asked “why”, a couple of obstacles were shared.  The first obstacle was there was not enough time.  Celebration requires planning and typically ends up at the bottom of a list.  They also share that they sometimes hold back celebrating until projects are completed and goals are met.  Their thinking was that celebrating too early could lead to a loss of momentum.  There have been numerous articles written about the importance of rewarding ourselves when we are making progress, not just at the point of completion, and that this celebration actually builds momentum.  John Norcross in “Changeology” shares that early on in reaching milestones, rewards need to be immediate and intense while later in a more stabilized change effort rewards are more meaningful.  Remember that celebration is a personal experience, and what matters most is that it feels meaningful and fulfilling to you. Taking the time to celebrate success not only boosts your morale but also contributes to a positive mindset and a sense of accomplishment.

As you prepare for 2024, think about reflection and celebration.  One of the best ways to create our future is to leverage what we know about our past successes!  Reflection and celebrations can help to rewire our brains so that our focus is on what leads to success rather than what is missing.  Shawn Achor  in “The Happiness Advantage” relates that this rewiring creates what he calls the positive tetris effect and sets us up for happiness, gratitude, and optimism.  As you are making plans and setting goals for 2024, make sure you build in time for reflection and celebrations!

Igniting Passion and Purpose

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Igniting Passion and Purpose

“The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away.”
– Pablo Picasso

Every year as the clock strikes midnight ushering in a new year, many people resolve to make a change in their lives.  Some are swept up in the moment, others have been contemplating the change for some time.  Unfortunately, the success rate of New Year's resolutions can vary widely depending on the source and the specific resolution in question. Research suggests that a significant number of people abandon their New Year's resolutions within the first few weeks or months of the year. One frequently cited statistic is that around 80% of New Year's resolutions fail by February, which would imply that only about 20% are still being pursued or achieved by the end of January.

How can you ensure that you can make your resolution a reality? 

It is important to note that these statistics can vary greatly from person to person and resolution to resolution. Success in keeping resolutions often depends on the nature of the resolution, the individual's commitment, the support system in place, and the specific strategies used to achieve the goals. The critical  factor in deciding to change a behavior is “why” you want to change. Knowing "why" when embarking on a new behavior is of paramount importance as it serves as a powerful motivator and provides clarity and direction.   Simon Sinek in “Start with Why" suggests that emotionally resonant reasons for new actions are more likely to drive change because they create a strong connection between feelings and actions.

Passion and Purpose

Along with knowing the “why” for a resolution, successful navigation of sustained change requires alignment with both passion and purpose.  Passion refers to a strong and intense emotional or enthusiastic connection to something, whether it is an activity, hobby, interest, or cause. It is the deep and abiding enthusiasm that drives individuals to invest time, energy, and effort into pursuing what they love.  Purpose, on the other hand, is a broader and more profound sense of meaning and direction in life. It involves understanding one's unique role or mission in the world and how one's actions contribute to a greater good or fulfillment of personal goals. Having a sense of purpose gives life a deeper meaning and helps individuals set meaningful goals, make decisions, and find satisfaction and contentment.

Passion

Have you given thought to what you are passionate about?  Angela Duckworth shares in her book "Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance," the connection between passion to long-term success.  She believes that passion is the long-term commitment to a particular goal or interest and that passion, perseverance, and achievement are intertwined with one another.  When individuals are deeply passionate about something, they are more likely to put in the effort required to excel in that area. A favorite coaching question to surface passion is “what gets you out of bed in the morning”?

Purpose

Defining purpose can be a bit more elusive.  Have you even thought about what your purpose is?  Jim Loehr in “The Power of Story” captures the essence of identifying one’s life mission/purpose.  He suggests that your purpose should continually renew your spirit; get you going every day; provide an indomitable force towards action; and ground you in your quiet moments.  Essential questions to reflect upon, whether you are twenty or seventy, are “what do you believe is your legacy; what do you want to be known for?” I would also include “what do we want to leave behind as a testament to a life well lived?”  As a graduate of Antioch University, I connect and resonate to our mission -a quote from Horace Mann “Be Ashamed to Die Until You Have Won Some Victory for Mankind.”  What quotes inspire you into deeper connection with your purpose?

Viktor Frankl in "Man's Search for Meaning” viktorfranklamerica.com shared that finding meaning and purpose, even in the most challenging circumstances, is essential for human survival and resilience. Dan Pink in "Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us"  adds that purpose is one of the drivers of intrinsic motivation along with autonomy and mastery.  In fact, finding our purpose is a discovery not a goal.  When we try to make our purpose goal directed we risk losing our joy, passion, and fulfillment. There is a sense of deep connection to our purpose that is about being rather than doing.  Our purpose is not necessarily what we are naturally good at, rather it is what drives us; what bubbles up from our hearts.  It is how we show up when we are passionately engaged in activities that energize us rather than those which are obligatory.  Living into our purpose not only energizes us, it frees us up to new energies.

Clarity on Passion and Purpose

Getting clear about what matters most may be the most difficult component of change.  We may experience complete clarity in the moment only to feel a fogginess a few days later.  Start by reflecting on your passions and what genuinely excites you. Identify the activities or causes that make you feel most alive and fulfilled. As you continue to reflect on your purpose, pathways to clarity about your vision and mission may open up allowing you to align the choices you make with your mission.  This last statement is critically important as just defining our mission/purpose does not create change, it is alignment of the behaviors that does so.

Aligning passion and purpose with action is a crucial step leading to sustained change. It happens before setting goals and is an ongoing process. It may evolve as you gain new insights and experiences and help you remain consistent and committed to goals. Stay flexible and adaptive while staying true to your core values and goals.

 

Aligning Goals with Passion and Purpose

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“The greater danger for more of us isn’t that our aim is too high and miss it, but that it is too low and we reach it.”  —Michelangelo

Setting and achieving goals is a fundamental process for personal and professional growth. Whether you want to improve your career, health, relationships, or any other aspect of your life, setting and accomplishing goals can help you fulfill your potential. In our last blog, the importance of passion and purpose prior to setting goals was discussed.  Simon Sinek in “Start with Why”  emphasizes the importance of aligning goals with a deeper sense of purpose. He suggests that individuals should set goals that contribute to their overall mission and vision. This approach ensures that goals are meaningful and motivating.  Now that you have reflected upon and established your purpose, it’s time to focus on goals.

Define Your Goals

Clearly define what you want to achieve. The more specific and detailed your goals are, the easier it is to work towards them. Establish a timeframe for achieving your goals. This adds a sense of urgency and helps you stay focused.  Gary Keller co-author of “The ONE Thing: The Surprisingly Simple Truth Behind Extraordinary Results,” believes a focused and simplified approach is essential to achieving success.  He shares that focusing on a single, high-priority goal or “one thing” is more effective than trying to juggle multiple goals simultaneously. He also encourages individuals to identify their most important goal and concentrate their efforts on it.  When it comes to goals, less is better.

Break Down Your Goals

Divide larger goals into smaller, manageable steps or milestones. This makes the process less overwhelming and allows you to track your progress more effectively. Jack Canfield in “The Success Principles” advocates for a process he calls “chunking,” which involves breaking larger, more complex goals into smaller, bite-sized tasks or steps. This approach makes it easier to see the path to achieving the overall goal.  David Allen in “Getting Things Done,” offers a comprehensive productivity system that includes breaking down goals into actionable steps. He emphasizes the importance of organizing tasks and projects into manageable components.  The key word here is manageable.  We sometimes are so intent on results that we might overestimate what is manageable.

Create a Plan

Develop a detailed action plan for each goal, outlining the steps you need to take to reach it.  Several authors have written about building effective action plans to achieve goals and improve productivity.  David Allen provides a comprehensive system for organizing tasks, projects, and goals, which helps individuals create actionable plans to achieve their objectives.  For those who want to segment the year into quarters, Brian P. Moran and Michael Lennington in “The 12 Week Year: Get More Done in 12 Weeks than Others Do in 12 Months,” add a goal setting and action planning system designed to boost productivity and results in a shorter time frame. Finally, Marie Forleo’s in “Everything Is Figureoutable” encourages readers to create action plans by adopting a “figureoutable” mindset. In her book she provides strategies for breaking down challenges and taking actionable steps toward goals.  Remember that an action plan is a dynamic document that should evolve as you progress toward your goal. Regularly reviewing and adjusting your plan is essential for staying on course and ensuring your actions align with your objectives.

Track Your Progress

Many experts emphasize the importance of tracking progress when working toward goals. Monitoring your progress allows you to stay on course, make necessary adjustments, and maintain motivation.  You could keep a journal or use goal-tracking apps to record your achievements and setbacks.  Gretchen Rubin, shares in “Better Than Before,” the value of self-monitoring and tracking behaviors to achieve personal goals and improve well-being.  Another habit researcher, James Clear in “Atomic Habits”  emphasizes the role of tracking habits as a key component of building and maintaining positive behaviors.  There are many benefits of tracking progress, including improved productivity, goal achievement, habit formation, and personal growth. Without measurement, behavior change is extremely difficult to monitor!

Stay Committed

Staying committed can be a challenge which is an aspect of goal setting that Carol Assalian, MCBC, found when researching “The Messy Middle”.  What she uncovered in her study was that many times when setting goals, people do not plan for challenges which directly impact commitment.  Once you have set your goals, developed an action plan, and built a tracking program reflect on what might become a competing commitment?  What are some tips for staying committed?  Remind yourself about the reasons why you set your goals.  Visualize your success and the benefits it will bring.  You might even explore groups to join or communities with similar goals to gain support and motivation.  Finally, share your goals with a trusted friend, family member, or a mentor who can help you stay accountable.  Michael Hyatt, in “Your Best Year Ever,”  provides guidance on setting and achieving personal and professional goals with the help of an accountability partner. He shares a specific framework for effective accountability partnerships which may help when choosing the best fit for an accountability partner.

Overcome Challenges

Be prepared for setbacks and challenges. Embrace failures as opportunities to learn and adapt. Use setbacks as a chance to evaluate your strategy and make necessary adjustments.  Ryan Holiday in “The Obstacle is the Way”  shares the importance of developing resilience and mental toughness when facing obstacles or setbacks in the pursuit of goals. Learning to focus on what can be controlled and to persevere in the face of challenges is critical to goal success.  John Norcross in “Changeology” adds that a “slip is not a fall” while sharing that in studies on behavior change 58-71% of people slip at least one time in the first 30 days.  He advises us to build a plan for dealing with slips by avoiding high risk triggers, practicing saying no and more importantly responding constructively when a slip does occur.  Finally, Angela Duckworth in “Grit” places emphasis on passion, determination, and resilience as keys to overcoming challenges and remaining focused on the goal.  She also has some great YouTube videos if you want just a slice of her thinking on overcoming obstacles.

Celebrate Achievements

Celebrating achievements is an important aspect of maintaining motivation and recognizing your progress toward your goals. Celebrate your successes, no matter how small. Many people delay any celebration until the goal is reached. Recognizing your achievements will boost your motivation and confidence.  Celebrating achievements is a positive and rewarding practice that can have a significant impact on your well-being, motivation, and overall success. Remember that celebrating achievements is a personal practice, and what works for one person may differ from what works for another. Options for celebration may include rewards, acknowledging milestones, and even celebrating the success of others who may be working on their own goals. The key is to make your celebrations meaningful, enjoyable, and aligned with your values and preferences. By celebrating your achievements, you not only acknowledge your hard work but also fuel your motivation to continue pursuing your goals and dreams.

As you reflect upon your goals for 2024, keep in mind that setting and achieving goals is an ongoing process. It requires dedication, perseverance, and the willingness to adapt as circumstances change. By following the steps for goal setting and staying committed, you can work towards a more fulfilling and successful year!

For more information on Carol Assalian’s presentation on “The Messy Middle” please join us on February 7 at 8 AM PST/11 AM EST.  https://us02web.zoom.us/j/89476852391

 

 

Putting Your Attention on Your Intentions

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"Concentrate all your thoughts upon the work at hand.
The sun's rays do not burn until brought to a focus."

Alexander Graham Bell

The first two Global IOC blogs of 2024 have focused on gaining clarity about what you want and setting goals.   The research states that by the end of January about 80% of resolutions have failed.  In addition, Carol Assailian shared at Global IOC’s February webinar that only 8% of goals set by individuals for themselves are met annually.  How might you reengage with 2024 goals to ensure that you can be successful with them?

When trying to make changes by putting your dreams and goals into action, the aspect of what you are focusing on becomes paramount.  Everyone who has a strong desire to accomplish a goal has the best of intentions to succeed.  There may even be elaborate plans to create success with the goal.  However sometimes gaps between what is stated as a goal and actions taken do not match.  Sometimes this is as simple as putting your attention on your intentions.

Many of us have heard that what we place our attention on grows.  Gay Hendricks in “The Genius Zone” suggests that ongoing commitment every morning to the goal(s) that we have set for ourselves is crucial for success.  Living in the Genius Zone requires focus and a commitment to conscious choice about how attention and time is distributed throughout the day.  Commitment requires perseverance in the face of obstacles. It involves maintaining focus and determination, even when progress is slow, or difficulties arise. Commitment often requires resilience—the ability to bounce back from setbacks and failures. Resilient individuals view challenges as opportunities for growth and learning, rather than reasons to give up.

What are some of the tools to help you stay focused and create this vigilance? 

Minimize Distractions

Identify common distractions like your phone, social media, or noisy surroundings, and take steps to minimize or eliminate them.  Nir Eyal in "Indistractable: How to Control Your Attention and Choose Your Life" shares a four-quadrant framework for understanding our triggers that either take us into distraction or into our goals.  The author contends that we must cope with both external and internal triggers to minimize distractions.  Most of us are familiar with external triggers such as phone notifications and pop-ups on our computers alerting us to a new email.  But what about the internal triggers like boredom and stress?  Eyal advocates for awareness of both types of triggers as well as awareness of whether the trigger is a traction taking us into our goals or a distraction taking us away from them.

Prioritize Tasks

Start by making a to-do list and prioritize tasks based on their importance and deadlines. This can help you stay focused on what's most crucial.  Stephen R. Covey in "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People," Covey introduces the concept of prioritizing tasks based on importance and urgency also using a four-quadrant approach. In determining the most important and urgent tasks, we are able to discern the vital few from the many requests for our time.   For those of you who prefer a more structured approach to tasks, David Allen, a productivity consultant, and author of "Getting Things Done" (GTD) shares an approach that emphasizes the importance of having a clear and organized system for managing tasks and commitments. He contends that one cannot simply keep all information in one’s head without losing focus and that by getting everything out of your head and into a trusted system, you can reduce mental clutter and free up mental energy for focused work.

Create a Quiet Workspace

Find a quiet and clutter-free space to work or study. Cal Newport in "Deep Work: Rules for Focused Success in a Distracted World," offers that the ability to focus intensely on cognitively demanding tasks without distraction is becoming increasingly rare and lack of it has a major impact on our knowledge economy. He advocates for creating environments that support deep work, which often involves minimizing interruptions, including noise and other distractions.  Newport suggests that quiet workspaces, whether physical or digital, can play a crucial role in facilitating deep work and maximizing productivity. By creating a workspace aligned with deep work, individuals can better concentrate on challenging tasks, achieve higher levels of cognitive performance, and produce higher-quality work in less time.

Take Regular Breaks

Short breaks can rejuvenate your mind and help maintain concentration. Use your breaks to stretch, walk, or relax briefly.  Taking short breaks can also help prevent burnout and improve overall productivity by allowing your mind to reset before returning to focused work.  Dan Pink, in "When," shares a key insight from the book referencing research that our energy and focus tend to decline over time, punctuated by periods of fatigue and decreased alertness.  Incorporating regular rest and renewal into our daily routines is essential for maintaining peak performance and well-being particularly during periods of low energy.  These breaks allow us to recharge and restore focus.

Managing Energy Not Time

Tony Schwartz in "The Power of Full Engagement: Managing Energy, Not Time, Is the Key to High Performance and Personal Renewal" emphasizes the importance of managing energy and focus for peak performance.  Schwartz believed that the traditional approach of managing time, such as working longer hours or pushing through fatigue, was not sustainable and ultimately counterproductive. Instead, he advocated for a more holistic approach that focused on managing and renewing one's energy throughout the day.  In alignment with Pink’s beliefs, he emphasized the importance of taking regular breaks, getting enough sleep, eating nutritious food, and engaging in activities that replenish energy, such as exercise and spending time with loved ones.

Practice Mindfulness

Cultivate mindfulness through practices such as meditation or deep breathing exercises. Mindfulness can help you become more aware of distractions as they arise and develop the ability to refocus your attention on your goals.  For those of you exploring mindfulness as a tool for focus, Williams and Penman in "Mindfulness: An Eight-Week Plan for Finding Peace in a Frantic World" provide a comprehensive and practical introduction to mindfulness and make the information accessible to readers from all walks of life. Keeping one’s attention on the present moment can increase focus and lead to sustained effort and goal achievement.

Many authors agree that putting your attention on your intention can create successful outcomes as you pursue goals.  This blog listed a variety of ways along with tools for you to maintain attention on your intention.  Hopefully at least one will resonate with you.  Make sure you build in rewards and celebrate quick wins and ultimate success!