Dr. Peggy Marshall

To go against the dominant thinking of your friends, of most of the people you see every day, is perhaps the most difficult act of heroism you can perform.
– Theodore H. White

Controlling the Noise of Life

Our goal as successful people is to be able to filter out noise that comes from others and sometimes from within in order to be able to listen to true and reliable information.  Shawn Achor in “Before Happiness” distinguishes between information that takes us where we want to go which he calls signals as opposed to noise that comes into our lives from various sources and challenges us emotionally to reorient ourselves.  Achor believes that noise is any information that is negative, false, unnecessary or prevents us from being able to reach our full potential.  He places noise in four categories; unusable, untimely, hypothetical, or distracting.  Allowing ourselves to be taken away from noise can lead us to emotional drama which then can impact our relationships at home and at work.

Napoleon Hill in “Think and Grow Rich” who began his writings almost 100 years ago, advised that we should engage in accurate thought which requires two fundamentals.  We have to be able to separate fact from fiction and then determine if the fact is relevant or irrelevant.  This is still true today.  A valuable skill for everyone to build is the ability to filter through all of the information we receive on a daily basis to determine what is factual, usable, timely and relevant.  How often do you evaluate the external noise in your life based upon these criteria.  Achor contends that if we just reduce the noise by 5% we can be considerably more successful with the endeavors we are engaged in.

The next area of noise that impacts us constantly is thoughts.  Do your thoughts lead to positive thinking or negative thinking?  Wayne Dyer in “You’ll See It When You Will Believe It” proposes that many highly respected thinkers from an array of different disciplines subscribe to the belief that thought determines how our lives will go.  Our thoughts determine our emotional states.  To borrow from Jim Loehr’s writings in “The Power of Story” our thoughts lead us into our emotional states which are opportunity based or fear based.  Again, thoughts lead us to our emotions.  When I am coaching clients, one of the most difficult concepts to understand is the idea that we choose our own thoughts-they don’t just happen to us.  A major improvement in your life can happen when you are able to recognize the choice you have about your thoughts-particularly the negative ones.

Negative Thinking

Achor believes that negative thinking is the most dangerous type of noise.  He contends that when our self-talk results in limiting beliefs, we are sabotaging any efforts we could direct towards success.  While we are not always able to reduce the noise coming from outside of us, a bright spot is the capacity for taking control of our internal noise-better known as self-talk.

Self-talk is a term that refers to the voices that chatter away in our heads.
In “Chatter: The Voice in our Head, Why It Matters and How to Harness It”, Ethan Kross shares that self-talk that takes the form of repetitive anxious thoughts can sabotage us and keep us focusing on what’s working and positive in our life.   For example, when you wake up each morning and look into the mirror, what are you saying to yourself?  Is this going to be the best day ever or are there numerous changes you have to make to your appearance, other people or just life in general in order to be happy?

Self-talk can be positive as well as negative.   When self-talk is positive, it can uplift you when things aren’t going your way, bolster your self-confidence to try new activities and deepen relationships. But negative self-talk, on the other hand, can interfere with performance, damage relationships, erode self-esteem and leave you drained of energy.

Ways to change self-talk

1. Notice throughout the day what you are saying to yourself.  Are the thoughts positive and uplifting or are you focused on what’s wrong and not working.  It’s even more effective if you write down common thoughts you have throughout the day.  You might be surprised by what you are actually thinking!
2. Next, look at your list.  What messages are noise from other people?  Which messages are coming from your own experiences?  If your self-talk is predominantly negative, determine any judgments you are making.  Then challenge any negative judgments.  Are they really true?  More importantly how do these judgments make your feel?  Typically, negative judgments create a spiral downward into negative emotional states.  Ask yourself-do I really want to feel this way?
3. Use words of encouragement and possibilities to challenge your self-talk. Instead of “I’ll never get all this done”, say “I am in the process of completing all my tasks.”  Think about how much progress you have made instead of how far you have to go.
4. Finally, when you are feeling drained of energy, consider a couple of options for raising energy. Go for a brisk walk around the block.  Practice deep breathing-just a minute or two of breathing in and out to the count of 8 can change your energy.  Don’t forget about random acts of kindness which also build our energy-just smiling at someone when walking into a building or entering an elevator can lift your spirits.

It is important to pay attention to the noise in your life-both external and internal.  Since you really have the most control over self-talk, practice listening to your self-talk.  Change the easiest messages first letting the stronger ones go for now-you can come back to them later.  And don’t forget to keep your energy up!

 

Everything big starts little. – Author Unknown

We are quickly approaching the last quarter of 2022 and our VUCA (volatile, uncertain, complex, and ambiguous) world continues to be in flux.  And yet, you may have goals that you set for yourself or your organization set for you that you still would like to achieve.  It may seem daunting to make up for missed opportunities earlier in the year, so you might want to reframe your perspective.  Many authors recommend chunking the big goal down into smaller segments.  Jack Canfield in “The Success Principles” advises us to break down our goals to avoid being overwhelmed by the expected outcomes.  He shares that by using mind maps as well as connecting with other individuals who have accomplished what we have undertaken allows us to build action steps that align our behaviors with success.  David Allen in “Getting Things Done”  refers to this process as going from the ‘Big Picture” to the nitty-gritty.  In getting to the nitty-gritty, we focus on behaviors and tools that allow us to accomplish tasks at the level that work really happens.

Another author, Brian Moran in “The Twelve Week Year” provides a framework for setting and achieving goals that fits with a fourth quarter push. The concept behind a twelve-week year is that in chunking down our year into four segments of twelve weeks each, we create expanded opportunities for success.  When you think about it, this suggestion makes a ton of sense.  Many of us want the fourth quarter to be stellar so using this process may give you the jump start on goals that require accountability and measurement, potentially leading to greater success with goal attainment.  A side benefit is that experimenting and success with this process also sets us up for achievement with 2023 goals.

The Twelve Week Year uses three principles which are the foundation for the process: accountability, commitment and greatness in the moment.  Essentially, accountability means we have freedom of choice but once we make that choice we have an ownership to see it through.  Commitment is the personal promise we make to ourselves once we have made the choice and from the authors’ perspective is accountability projected into the future.  Greatness in the moment refers to the willingness to do the things that lead you into your greatest success-even when you may not want to.

Next, the authors share the five execution disciplines which are the foundations for consistent action.  The first is vision.  What is your vision for yourself? Do you have a clear picture of what you want to happen?  Do your personal and business visions align?  When we are able to align these two visions, it creates an emotional connection needed for sustainment of commitment and continual consistent action and it becomes our “why”.

Once the vision is in place, action begins in working the plan.  The purpose of an effective plan is to clarify and focus behaviors on highest priority initiatives and action steps.  This plan becomes your road map to success.  John Norcross in “Changeology” also advises that we need a plan prior to engaging in our goals.  The author shares that resistance to planning is fed by our drive to begin immediately on the goal relinquishing any roadmap to guide the process.  One of the quickest ways to derail change efforts is to not have a plan for how one will reach success.  It is only when we give structure to our goals by planning the steps to accomplish them do we increase the opportunities for success.  Matthew Kelly in “The Rhythm of Life” includes the question “how am I going to get there” in his list of five questions.  Having a goal without a plan to get there, typically results in missing the mark.  Kelly adds that humanity has been asking this question consciously or unconsciously since the beginning of time which shows that we have understood the importance of planning for a really long time!

Planning is followed by process control which begins with the identification of tools and actions that align daily with the most important steps for ultimate success.  Ensuring that you focus your time on critical actions for success is essential to creating the outcomes you want.  Tools and actions are followed by measurement.  Often we can identify goals and what actions steps we need in order to accomplish our goals, yet we frequently forget how and what we are going to measure.  It is important to have visible measurement processes that you engage in daily.   Without a consistent process for checking in with ourselves, we may find that we return to our old habits and forget our commitment to the new behaviors.  The final discipline is the use of time.  If we are not able to control our time, we will not be able to control our results.  This can be a difficult discipline for some as it may mean saying no to some requests and people.

Whether Jack Canfield, David Allen, Brian Moran, or some other authors you like provide you with the tools to finish the year strong, it’s crucial that you have an organizing process that allows you to accomplish your goals.  Make your goals visible, measure daily, and get ready to celebrate your accomplishments.

If you are in sales and would like help with reaching your 2022 goals, Global IOC has four offerings to support you.  Click here for more information on the programs.  Sales Coaching Programs – Global Institute of Organizational Coaching (globalioc.com)

My daughter was an All-State Ohio high school and then college softball pitcher and enjoyed many successes. After one particular loss with a rival school, she told me that what took her off course was that the umpire changed the strike zone.  When I shared that comment with a colleague (who was ribbing me) he asked “aren’t we supposed to adjust when the strike zone changes?”  That response has stuck with me over the years as it’s a great question.  When the strike zone changes metaphorically on us, as with the pandemic, how quickly can we adjust to the new zone?

Every day we wake up with expectations that our day will be the same as the day before.  We are creatures of habit and derive comfort when our lives remain within the status quo.  However, the status quo creates “rules” for life that we expect to be followed and when they are not, we are taken off our course.  Using the softball pitches and game analogy, let’s review those things that change our direction.

The Fast Ball.  For most people, life moves too fast.  We are overcommitted at work and at home with precious little time for ourselves.  We don’t have time to nourish our bodies or for the activities that feed our souls.  Rather we seem to be chasing the ever changing brass ring that we believe will lead us to happiness.  Although many times we are reacting to our environment, if we do not take charge of what we can control, the environment will take charge of us.

When we are in “doing” mode, we are in automatic pilot and miss opportunities to make a conscious choice about what is happening in our life.  Functioning in “being” mode takes us back to our senses so that what we are seeing, hearing, touching, smelling, and tasting is happening in real time for us.  When is the last time you really tasted your food, smelled the morning dew, or experienced the feeling of a silky blanket?  Clients often remark that they barely have time to eat, let alone do it mindfully, which demonstrates the potential benefit for slowing down to experience what we are doing when we are doing it. The antidote to the fast ball is mindfulness.  Mindfulness focuses on “being” rather than “doing”.  Most of us are much more comfortable with doing rather than being.  William and Penman outline characteristics that represent the difference between doing and being and provide a few exercises to switch into mindfulness. 

The Curve Ball.  We make and live by plans and many times those plans are disrupted by life events.  Curves are the storms in our lives from the big ones like losing jobs, serious illness and ending relationships to flat tires, common colds, and dealing with relationship problems.  With the curve balls, it’s important to examine how we adapt or respond to the curve.  Our response to obstacles can either empower or disempower us.   Chip Conley in “Emotional Equations” shares that the event + reaction = outcome.  Keeping that equation close by can be a reminder that our reactions to the curve balls determine our outcomes not the curve balls.

The Change-Up.  The change-up in softball or baseball is about a ball that throws off the batter’s timing as the batter needs to make a change to be successful.   Do you find yourself locked into the same behaviors and same routines even though you know you need to make changes?  Facing needed changes allows us to face new challenges.   Changing requires us to walk into the unknown.  Depending upon how much we resist change, the list of disadvantages to making change can greatly outweigh the advantages giving us reasons to remain stuck.  We may not like the feelings we experience when in the midst of change, but there is no progress without change.  One of Global IOC’s go to models for a change process is “the intended change” model.  The model helps people move through a process to align the ideal and real self while leveraging strengths and mitigating challenges.  Many clients have had success with this model.

The Rise Ball.  The rise ball starts low and continues to rise.  Rise balls represent our successes.  Do we continue to believe in limitless potential or do we place obstacles in our own paths?  There is a quote I have heard often that states “Argue for your limitations, and they become yours”.  Do you argue for your limitations or are you exploring ways to continue to rise.  Success can put blinders on us, not allowing us to see new ways to continue to rise.  Hendricks in “The Big Leap” shares that we function in zones with the ultimate goal to live in the zone of genius.  We move into that zone when we continue to rise.

The Umpire.  The umpire represents our own inner critic.  The more critical we are of ourselves, the more difficult it is for us to raise or maintain our own self-esteem.   One of the worst things  we do to ourselves is to compare ourselves to others.  We will always be able to find others in better circumstances than us.  The reverse is also true.  When we stop worrying about what others have and do, we can bring the focus back to us allowing for dreams, plans and actions to manifest in success.  Susan David in “Emotional Agility”  shares that we have a constant cineplex inside our heads creating chatter which then circulates self-defeating emotions, thoughts and behaviors.  Silencing the inner critic by replacing it with positive thoughts is one way to control the umpire’s hold on us.

The Fans.   Fans can energize us or drain us.  Have you ever noticed how drawn we are to certain people?   They are typically upbeat, charismatic, positive, and energizing.  They leave us excited about our own potential and possibilities.  Then there are the drainers.  These people are gifted at sharing the worst, reminding us of our pasts, and are just generally doom and gloom individuals.  They tell us that they are sharing negative information for our own good!  My best advice is, do not take praise or critics too personal.  True fans are there for you in good and bad times.

The different speeds and locations of the pitches, the fans, and the umpires can take us out of our comfort zone into life’s challenges. When life moves the strike zone on us we have at least two options for reacting to the movement.  Personally I think the more options we create for ourselves the more likely we are to be successful in navigating through storms.  However, the two options that are always available to us are to see the storms as a challenge that we can overcome or as a challenge that takes us out of the game.   The good news is that we always have choices and even if we don’t make the best choices in the beginning of a challenge, we can always rethink the challenge and successfully move through it!

Global work trends are changing workplace dynamics in accelerated ways.  The World Economic Forum shares that five specific trends are shaping the new world of work.  They include organizational efficiency, skill development, talent retention and mobility, the rise of work opportunities, and digitization.  Meanwhile the Microsoft work trend index finds that only 12% of leaders have confidence that employees are productive although 87% of employees report they are productive at work.  The report also found that hybrid work has created social disconnections amongst individuals and teams and that organizations need to focus on rebuilding capital.  Finally, 76% of employees say they would stay at their company longer if they could benefit more from learning and development support.   Leaders who learn and practice essential coaching skills that develop individuals and guide the understanding of needs, values and drivers of behaviors can positively address the trends facing organizations currently.

 

Development Based Upon Needs and Values

 

It is clear from the trends that employees want a deeper relationship with leaders and peers, to be trusted to be productive, and to be supported for development and reaching full potential.    Kelly in “The Dream Manager”  shares that the destinies of organization and individual potential are interwoven.   He threads the concept of “best version of self” throughout his message which is inclusive of both the organization best version and individual best version.  This requires that both the individual and organization deeply explore what is valued, understand the meaning made from those values and align action with the values.  When is the last time you engaged your team to reflect upon and then discuss how the organizational values align with individual values?

 

The exploration of what matters most becomes transformational to both the organization and employee. Transformational coaching empowers others, is congruent with a core set of values, focuses on continuous development, and inspires a shared vision through translating dreams into reality.  Blanchard, in Morgan, Harkins, Goldsmith’s “Profiles in Coaching” believes that leadership and coaching go “hand-in-hand” and that coaching is a form of leadership requiring leaders to discover their own direction, purpose and mission.  Coaching and leadership involve guiding the direct’s focus and action on what is important both personally and organizationally through identification of strategies for actions that lead to outcomes.  Blanchard ties this process back into a model for servant leadership by suggesting that through the coaching process, the leadership pyramid turns upside down and the leader becomes a critical thinking partner for the self-directed achievement of directs.

 

Anderson and Adams also consider exploration of values to be important to leadership and coaching behaviors.  In “Scaling Leadership” the authors share that development of others starts with the development of self as leader.  Self-awareness is an essential ingredient in the coaching process. A self-understanding about meaning making, decision making, emotional intelligence and beliefs and assumptions guide the leader in developing skills to address the complexities of leading and coaching.  When these skills grow within the individual leader, they begin to cascade down through direct reports which then creates the “scale” necessary for coaching and developing leaders at all levels.  The competencies of the highly creative leadership behaviors identified by the authors are very much aligned with great coaching.

 

Strengthening Relationships

 

Once values and needs have been surfaced, Boyatzis and McKee in “Resonant Leadership” add another component to “Leader as Coach; Coach as Leader”.  Focusing on the benefits of emotional connection, the authors position the relationship as key to successful coaching which has been proven time and time again in research.  The resonant leader/coach not only creates resonance with followers but also creates this resonance with self through the process of renewal.  In demonstrating the process of self-renewal by addressing one’s personal and emotional needs, the direct has a blueprint for doing the same for self.  Boyatzis and McKee encourage the development of a renewal process that delivers increased energy and engages the mind, body, and heart in shifting to positivity which creates healthier relationships with direct reports and others.  Kouzes and Posner while researching and writing about leadership in “Encouraging the Heart” share this thinking with Boyatzis and McKee.  They contend that effective leader coaches have relationships which demonstrate genuine caring for the direct.

 

Organizational Efficiency

 

As the values and needs are surfaced and relationships deepen, support becomes an essential component of the thinking coaching partnership.  Elliot, Subramanian, and Kupp in “How the Future Works”,  share guardrails that can ensure organizational efficiency through the coaching process.  The guardrails include leading by example, showing vulnerability, creating shared space for teamwork, keeping a level playing field, intentional rationale for meetings, and utilization of brainwriting versus brainstorming.  These guardrails engage the leader and direct reports in gaining clarity about goals, accountability for agreed upon actions and celebrating with directs and teams when goals are met.  These guardrails also provide opportunities for emergent and meaningful conversations. The leader coach sees himself or herself as a barometer of where his/her directs are with regards to their own thought processes. Questions are asked to draw out deeper, more thoughtful, meaningful, conversations and take the directs into thinking about future possibilities.  Questions such as “what will success look like for this project?” and “what might create challenges for the project?” encourage directs to think both in terms of best-case scenarios while also preparing to overcome challenges.  Chip and Dan Heath in “Decisive” use this exercise as a “pre-parade and post-mortem” discussion.

 

An organization’s ability to be effective and adapt its environment to the post-pandemic VUCA (volatile, uncertain, complex, ambiguous) world while remaining abreast of emerging trends requires sustainable, effective leadership and coaching that cascades through the organization. Among other things, organizations need leaders for inspiration, enthusiasm, focus, and to strategically guide their vision, mission and culture. Strong leadership aligned with effective coaching is often viewed as one of the most important factors in organizational health and growth yet, many organizations struggle with the development and scaling of coaching and leadership behaviors.   Providing essential coaching skills to all leaders can serve to address this struggle.

 

If you or your organization is interested in learning more about “Essential Coaching Skills for Leaders”, please join us for a webinar on “Does Your Organization Need You to Lead and Coach?” on Wednesday December 7 at 11 AM EST via Zoom