self doubt

Everything big starts little.
            -Author Unknown

When working with clients, the idea of “baby steps” and making progress daily sometimes feels constraining.  Baby steps towards progress are small, manageable actions that gradually lead to the achievement of a larger goal. These steps are designed to be easily achievable, reducing the feeling of being overwhelmed and maintaining motivation.  And yet, some individuals want to take giant steps and quickly become demotivated with a lack of quick success towards big goals.

Shaping Goals

To begin the process of establishing baby steps, individuals must set goals.  Goals should be clear and specific which means they need to be well-defined and concrete.  This helps individuals know exactly what they are working towards and makes it easier to measure progress. Goals should focus on outcomes rather than processes. Thinking about the end results that the person wants to achieve can help in developing a clear and actionable plan.  Second, goals must be realistic and achievable. In “The Skilled Helper” by Gerald Egan emphasizes the importance of setting goals that are challenging but within the individual's capabilities, considering their current situation and resources.  Third, goals should be framed positively. Instead of focusing on what individuals want to avoid or stop, goals should be about what they want to achieve or gain. This positive framing can enhance motivation and provide a clear direction for action.  Fourth, goals need to be aligned with the client's values and broader life aspirations. This ensures that the goals are meaningful and personally significant, which can increase commitment and persistence.

Breaking Down Goals

Once goals are determined the next step is breaking them down into smaller, manageable tasks, which is essential for making progress and staying motivated. Many authors support the concept of breaking goals down into manageable parts.  Jack Canfield in “The Success Principles” advises us to break down our goals to avoid being overwhelmed by the expected outcomes.  He suggests using mind maps as well as connecting with other individuals who have accomplished what we are about to undertake which then allows us to build action steps that align our behaviors with success.  David Allen in “Getting Things Done” refers to this process as going from the "Big Picture” to the nitty-gritty.  In getting to the nitty-gritty, we focus on behaviors and tools that allow us to accomplish tasks at the level that work really happens.  The GTD methodology also helps individuals focus on one task at a time and manage their time efficiently.  Stephen Covey in “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People” discusses the importance of goal setting and breaking down goals into smaller, actionable steps. His concept of "Begin with the End in Mind" encourages individuals to visualize their end goals and work backward to create a plan.  Finally, James Clear in “Atomic Habits” shares that making small changes can lead to significant improvements over time. He emphasizes breaking down big goals into tiny habits that can be easily integrated into daily routines.

Set Milestones

Milestones are critical to achieving goals for several reasons. They serve as intermediate targets that help guide progress, maintain motivation, and ensure that efforts are aligned with the ultimate goal. In addition, they provide structure and clarity while allowing for the tracking of progress.  Milestones break down goals into even smaller, more manageable parts. This structure makes it easier to understand what needs to be done and in what order, providing a clear roadmap to follow.  They also act as checkpoints that allow individuals to measure their progress. By regularly reaching milestones, individuals can see tangible evidence of their advancement toward the ultimate goal.  A benefit to setting milestones is that large goals can often seem overwhelming. Milestones provide a feeling that the goal is more achievable, reducing anxiety and making it easier to start and continue working towards the goal.  Finally, milestones help with time management by dividing the overall timeline into smaller segments. This makes it easier to allocate time effectively and ensure that steady progress is being made.

Charles Duhigg in “The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business” explores how habits can be leveraged to achieve long-term goals. He emphasizes the importance of setting milestones within the framework of habit loops, where small wins and achievements reinforce positive behavior changes.  Brian Tracy also advocates for the importance of setting clear, measurable goals and then breaking them down into smaller, actionable steps or milestones. In his book, “Goals!: How to Get Everything You Want — Faster Than You Ever Thought Possible” he provides practical strategies for setting and achieving these intermediate targets to maintain momentum and motivation.  These authors offer valuable insights and practical strategies for setting and achieving milestones, helping individuals maintain focus, motivation, and a clear path towards their ultimate goals.

Action Plan that Prioritize Steps

Creating an action plan is crucial for achieving goals effectively. An action plan outlines the specific steps, timelines, and resources needed to reach your objective. Creating and implementing an action plan offers numerous benefits that can significantly enhance your chances of achieving goals effectively.  An action plan provides a clear roadmap for what needs to be done, helping you stay focused on your objectives.  By breaking down goals into smaller tasks, you can prioritize what needs to be done first, ensuring that the most critical actions are addressed promptly.  It is important to see progress as you complete each task as it keeps you motivated and engaged.  Because the action plan includes the when you will be working on your goals, knowing what to do and when to do it reduces the chances of procrastination.  A common mistake some individuals make when planning to take action is the identification of the resources (time, money, skills, etc.) needed to achieve your goals.  Knowing what tools and resources are currently available along with what is needed will also help the individual budget for action towards goals.  Finally, a well-structured plan provides a clear vision of success, which can increase your self-assurance and determination.  For more information on action planning, all of the authors referenced in the above paragraphs provide resources for developing action plans.

Tracking and Making Progress

Tracking achievement is a vital part of measuring success. It helps you stay on course, make necessary adjustments, and stay motivated.  After goals have been set, then establishing measurements will demonstrate progress towards your goal. These should be quantifiable and directly related to your objectives.  Next, consider using project management software or spreadsheets to automate your tracking process.  Once those are in place, keep a daily log of activities and accomplishments along with setting aside time each week to review your progress and update your tracking system.  It is important to regularly assess your performance against your milestones.  Finally, seeking feedback from mentors, peers, or supervisors can help you gain additional insights into any changes that need to be made for achievement of goals.

Making progress is critical to success of any goal.  In their book, "The Progress Principle: Using Small Wins to Ignite Joy, Engagement, and Creativity at Work," the authors emphasize the importance of making consistent, meaningful progress in one's work and one could argue - life. The principle is based on extensive research conducted by the authors, who analyzed thousands of daily work diaries to understand what drives creativity and motivation in the workplace.  Their research found that even small, incremental progress can significantly boost motivation and engagement. Achieving small wins helps individuals feel a sense of accomplishment and drives them to continue working towards their larger goals.  The Progress Principle clearly demonstrates the importance of making consistent, meaningful progress. By focusing on small wins, providing necessary support, and creating a positive environment, individuals can significantly enhance their own creativity, productivity, and overall satisfaction.

Celebrate
In every section of this blog, the need to celebrate is recognized.  Celebrating small wins is crucial for maintaining motivation and momentum towards achieving larger goals. Recognizing and celebrating these incremental successes can boost morale, reinforce positive behavior, and help sustain long-term commitment.

Setting goals is only the first step to success.  Breaking down goals into manageable sub-goals and setting milestones for measurement are critical to success.  A consistent process for measurement ensures that progress can be tracked and evaluated for any changes that need to be made.  Finally, celebration of even the small wins can keep both momentum and desire going.

 

“When you doubt your power, you give power to your doubt”
-Author Unknown

I am an alum of the University of Dayton. Ten years ago, the basketball team made it to the “elite 8” in the NCAA basketball tournament. Since it had not happened for thirty years, I wanted a T-shirt to mark the occasion. When I went to the UD website to order a shirt, I noticed that they were using the language “never doubt” on the shirt. I loved the sentiment and began to think about how it fits with coaching practice. Take a moment to reflect on all the times we doubt whether we can really achieve our dreams and how those little doubts creep in to destroy momentum and even enthusiasm for our dreams.

Self-doubt is a state of uncertainty about one's abilities, decisions, or worth. It involves a lack of confidence in oneself and can manifest as feelings of inadequacy, insecurity, and hesitation. Self-doubt can arise from past experiences, external criticism, or internal negative thinking patterns, and it often leads to hesitation in taking action or pursuing goals. While some degree of self-doubt is normal and can motivate self-improvement, excessive self-doubt can hinder personal and professional growth, leading to missed opportunities and a diminished sense of self-worth.

How can we keep these doubts from creeping in? Jack Canfield in “Principles of Success,”  provides several ideas for continuing to move towards success despite obstacles. First, he advises that we need to drop out of the “ain’t it awful” club and surround ourselves with positive people. Simply removing negative people from your sphere of influence and instead choosing to associate with positive ones, increases your odds of succeeding exponentially. Tapping that source of positivity can help you overcome your own self-doubts. Canfield also advises the acknowledgement of positive pasts. Often when coaching clients, I ask them to go back to a place in time when they were successful doing what they are trying to do now. We all have experiences where we overcame odds to achievement of goals. Just knowing that we have done this once allows us to believe in that possibility again.

Who has access to your energy? Removing dissenters and negative people from your immediate sphere of influence by engaging personal champions as part of your change team can eliminate a source of self-doubt. A step in the process of change which can be found in “Changeology” by John Norcross is to build a change team or a personal board of directors.  Often, we think that we must go it alone and yet creating support and accountability partners can accelerate achievement of goals. Talk to friends, family, or a mentor who can provide encouragement and offer a different perspective. Sometimes an outside view can help you see things more clearly. Do not forget that a personal coach could also be part of your change team or board.

Increasing your positivity ratio-the number of positive thoughts to negative thoughts can also help you fight the “doubt monsters.’  Barbara Fredrickson in “Positivity” shares that for successful teams the number of positive to negative statements made to one another must be at least three positives to one negative for successful teams.  For ideal working relationships the number is six positives to one negative. You might want to check out Barbara’s self test at her website to see where you are with regards to your own positivity. Chip Conley, in “Emotional Equations” adds that when we divide the number of positive interactions/events by the frequency of negative interactions/events, we can actually compute a number that allows for thriving.  You are now in the sweet spot of unlimited potential for success.

Next, set realistic goals. Break down goals into smaller, manageable steps. This makes them feel more achievable and less overwhelming, boosting confidence as steps are accomplished. Ask yourself if you have your eye on the prize or are you allowing doubt to creep in? Canfield’s work suggests that we use the last 45 minutes of the day to review goals, celebrate successes and make specific plans for the next day. Why do this at the end of the day? While you are sleeping your brain continues to work with your unconscious mind processing this input. Your mind is actually being programmed for success and achievement while you sleep!

Shawn Achor in “Before Happiness” advises measuring progress frequently to leverage the “escalation of commitment”.  This is done by looking back at how far an individual has come and by remembering how much time and effort has already been invested towards the achievement of the goal. When people do this, they often find that they do not want to give up the gains and can find the energy to continue. Gay Hendricks in “The Genius Zone” supports this concept and adds that we need to recommit to our goals on a daily basis.

When doubts creep in, focus on transcending limiting beliefs. If you find yourself saying something like “I’ll never make it to the finish line,” check in with your beliefs. Asking yourself how that belief serves you can help turn it around. We can leverage expectancy theory to work for us instead of against us. By just believing that something is possible, we can make it happen. Next time you feel stuck, think about how you might change your beliefs so that they move you forward instead of planting seeds of doubt that create anchors.

A few other strategies for releasing self-doubt include:

Identify the Source. Understand where your self-doubt is coming from. Self-doubt can stem from a variety of sources, both internal and external. Understanding its origins can help in addressing and overcoming it. Common sources of self-doubt include past experiences, social influences, perfectionism, imposter syndrome, and cognitive distortions.

Challenge Negative Thoughts. Recognize and challenge negative thoughts. Often, self-doubt is fueled by irrational and unfounded beliefs. Carol S. Dweck's work, particularly her concept of "mindset," provides valuable guidance for challenging negative thoughts and can be found in her book titled “Mindsets.”  The author shares a number of ways to challenge negative thinking including recognition of fixed mindset triggers, reframing the situation with a growth mindset perspective, embracing the challenge, and focusing on effort not just outcomes.

Practice Self-Compassion. Be kind to yourself. Understand that everyone makes mistakes and has moments of doubt. Practicing self-compassion is an effective way to manage and alleviate self-doubt. It involves treating yourself with the same kindness, understanding, and support that you would offer a good friend. Do not forget to take care of your physical, emotional, and mental well-being through activities that nourish and rejuvenate you as an act of self-compassion.

Overcoming self-doubt is a journey that requires patience, persistence, and a compassionate approach toward oneself. By recognizing the sources of your self-doubt, challenging negative thoughts, and embracing the principles of a growth mindset, you can gradually build confidence and resilience. Remember that self-doubt is a common human experience, and treating yourself with kindness and understanding is crucial in navigating through it. With each step you take towards self-compassion and positive thinking, you will find yourself better equipped to face challenges and achieve your goals. Embrace your imperfections, celebrate your progress, and continue to believe in your capacity for growth and improvement.