One of my favorite December songs is “Happy Xmas” by John Lennon and Yoko Ono. The lyrics start with
“So, this is Christmas
And what have you done
Another year over
And a new one just begun”
Every year when I hear this song, I begin to think about what has been accomplished in terms of what I planned to do. 2020 was an especially challenging year for many people and yet we still need to set aside time to reflect on even the small wins. There is not a better time for reflection then at the end of something and the beginning of the new. There are numerous quotes that warn us of failing to reflect including history repeating itself. However, when we set aside time for reflection we have the opportunity to move into the new year with a solid evaluation of what is working in our lives and what is not. Jack Canfield in “The Success Principles” shares that we need to keep score to better evaluate our processes that lead to success while at the same time deciding what to leave behind. What does your score sheet look like for 2020 and does it measure what mattered most to you?
Keeping score can also lead to the process of reflection. Reflection is an important component of how adults learn. We learn not only from our experiences but also from the interpretations and reinterpretations of those experiences. Many authors including Reinhard Stelter in “The Art of Dialogue in Coaching: Towards Transformative Exchange” refer to these interpretations as meaning making. When we pause and reflect upon circumstances and then apply a different meaning to our situations we can create new ways of acting and thinking. Using the process of reflection and introspection on an on-going basis leads to increased levels of awareness, insight, and self-acceptance. Bob Rotella in “How Champions Think” adds that champions self-evaluate and reflect after setting their own standards and do not simply wait for others to provide evaluations for moving forward into success. What is your process for reflection and self-evaluation? What questions do you ask yourself when you reflect on the past? A few of my favorite reflection questions include:
- Are there any patterns in your accomplishments? How do you feel about what was accomplished and not accomplished?
- What behaviors led to your greatest successes? Were there any behaviors that kept you from being successful?
- What did the people and/or situations you met teach you about yourself, about the world? Did any experiences change you or your thinking?
- Did anything cause you to challenge yourself about, your ideals, your philosophies, your concept of life or the way you live?
- How did you celebrate your successes? How did you react to the moments you were not successful? Would you make any changes here?
- Was there a day or event that you would like to do-over? What would you do differently?
The end of the year also brings us to a time for celebration. How do you celebrate your success? Again, remembering that 2020 was difficult in many ways for people, we need to still take a moment to reflect on our accomplishments be they large or small. In a recent client meeting, leaders were asked how they celebrate. Many did not have a response. When asked “why”, a couple of obstacles were shared. The first obstacle was there is not enough time to celebrate. Celebration requires planning and typically ends up at the bottom of a list. If you are a high achiever in Strengths Finders, this is especially true for you. The leaders also shared that they sometimes hold back celebrating until projects are completed and goals are met. The thinking was that celebrating too early could lead to a loss of momentum. There have been numerous books and articles written about the importance of rewarding ourselves when we are making progress not just at the point of completion and that this celebration builds momentum. Norcross in “Changeology” shares that early on in reaching milestones, rewards need to be immediate and intense while later on in a more stabilized change effort rewards can be designed to be more meaningful. How comfortable are you with celebrating and rewarding yourself? In what ways do you reward progress and celebrate success? Amabile and Cramer concur with Norcross in their book “The Progress Principle” as their research has found that making progress at work is one of the most important ingredients to productivity, creativity, and success.
One of the best ways to create our future is to leverage what we know about our past successes! Celebrations can help to rewire our brains so that our focus is on what leads to success rather than what is missing. They also contribute to a positive mindset which can create more opportunities for thinking about possibilities rather than limitations. Achor in “The Happiness Advantage” suggests that this rewiring creates what he calls the positive Tetris effect and sets us up for happiness, gratitude, and optimism. As you are making plans and setting goals for 2021 make sure you build in time for reflection about progress, accomplishments, rewards, and celebrations.