It is the beginning of the new year. A time we focus on creating annual goals both small and large. I hesitate to bring up the subject of potential obstacles to that success, however along the way we may run into a variety of roadblocks. Dean in “Making Habits, Breaking Habits: Why We Do Things, Why We Don’t and How to Make Any Change Stick” About PsyBlog (spring.org.uk) shares that we don’t like to think about what might stop us from reaching goals as that thinking impacts our confidence in taking action. I have found this to be true for many of my clients. Yet addressing obstacles at the beginning of the year and creating a plan should they occur may eliminate or minimize the impact.
One of the biggest obstacle that holds clients back is misalignments. Misalignments include assumptions we are making about what is possible, meaning making that is out of sync with our values and what matters most, attitudes and beliefs we have developed about the actions we are taking, and biases held about people, places, and situations. Misalignments can be also be viewed as incongruence in thinking and behaving such as when you are committed to getting more sleep yet stay up late watching television.
One strategy for filtering out misalignments is to empower ourselves to be completely candid about our experiences. Byron Katie in “Loving What Is” The Work: Byron Katie’s 4 Questions – The Joy Within and Dr. Wayne Dyer in “Excuses Be-Gone” https://www.drwaynedyer.com encourage us to become brutally honest with ourselves about our perceptions of our worlds. Conducting a quick examination of these perceptions can help surface where incongruence is showing up in our lives and can identify those times when self-beliefs are blocking positive action. Katie’s 4-step process begins by asking the question “Is it (the belief) true?” Given the answer is yes, it is followed-up with “Is it absolutely true?” This second question creates a pause for deepening examination of any errors in thinking. By the second “absolutely true”, we begin to question the belief in a way that leads to transformational thought.
Katie completes the exercise with two more questions: “How do you feel when you think that way and how would you feel if you didn’t think that way?” These are both telling questions. When answering the third and fourth questions with complete transparency and honesty, we can readily admit that we do not like the way our thinking is making us feel and that we would feel more positive and engaged with our goals if we chose to think differently. Empowering yourself to think differently keeps you focused on what is possible and not what is not.
A second strategy is to align the inner with the outer by ensuring that what matters most, that is what we value, is what we act upon. Dr. Jim Loehr in “The Power of Story” https://www.jim-loehr.com explains that “our stories profoundly affect how we see ourselves”. He adds that “too few of us even recognize when we are telling stories, or what they are, or that we can change them”. The last statement, “that we can change them” is what gives us our power back. As you navigate goals, think about any stories that could be creating roadblocks to ultimate success with your goals.
A third strategy comes from “Changeology” by Norcross JOHNCNORCROSS.COM. Emphasizing that we need to control our environments which include people, places, and situations to stay focused on our goals, Norcross shares an audit process for making determinations about environments. Who in your life is going to be supportive of your goals and who might innocently derail your success? If you are counting on someone for support, you might want to be explicit about what you need or you might make assumptions about what support is available only to be disappointed. If certain places or situations lead you away from your goals, create an avoidance plan or be clever about ways to say NO when they interfere with your goals.
Finally, Holiday in “The Obstacle is the Way” “The Obstacle Is The Way” by Ryan Holiday shares that it is our perception of the obstacle that makes it real. As you consider what might become an obstacle for you as you pursue 2021 goals, consider how you make meaning about the obstacle. Remember as adults we have the power to self-direct our lives, determine our purpose, pursue our dreams, use our talents and gifts wisely, and act despite fears. We also have the ability to design environments and support systems that will lead to our greatest successes. The final question is to ask yourself “Am I investing energy into misalignments or into alignment with my dreams and goals?”
If you would like more information on overcoming blocks to success, join us for the Global IOC webinar to be held on January 13 at 10 AM EST. Zoom call login: https://us02web.zoom.us/j/85671563794?pwd=TmNGbVNEYXc5LzdVcDdnUzhwdWhCdz09